Please help me to edi my essay, it's urgent. Thanks a lot
On the way to the airport, I drowsily lay on the sofa inside a maglev train, so tired after several days of physics competition training. I tried to go through lessons in my mind to revise what I have learnt. All lessons flew slide by slide: basic mechanics, geostatic, interference and diffraction of waves, Doppler Effect, quantum physics, electricity and magnetism... 'Superconductivity occurs when a specific kind of material is cooled to a critical temperature, superconductive material will then have a resistance zero...' I seemed to hear teacher lecturing about the superconductivity. What is the use of those abstruse concepts, those complicated formula, those unearthly questions? I wondered.
However, at one instance, I suddenly realized that I was just sitting on one of those theoretical concepts; a maglev train that constructed based on the applications of magnetism and superconductivity. At that moment, I understood the sentence, 'Engineers turn ideas into reality.' All objects that we use daily were initially theoretical ideas, from things as small as screws which involve moment of force and friction to as huge as aircrafts that devised from Bernoulli law and Newton's 3rd law of motion. Though the technologies now are highly advanced, most ideas are turned to reality, but there are still thousands of 'puzzles' waiting for solution, for instance, the application of superconductive material in the electricity transportation.
Use of superconductive wire can completely avoid the dissipation of heat energy and therefore, improve the efficiency of electricity transportation. So why don't we use it? High cost and strict conditions for superconductivity are the main impediment that scientists are facing. The applications of scientific concepts are not simple tasks; not only the idea itself but also the cost, market for the device are considered. A feasible application must base on both sound scientific proof and profitable market. Thus, a true engineer who is able to benefit the society around should posses both the engineering and market knowledge. I, a prospective engineer who is determined to make a difference, am not yet mature enough in both scientific and entrepreneurial aspect and need a place to enrich myself in order to fulfill my dream.
Luckily, I found Cornell University and its engineering college a perfect destination for me. Being a renowned Ivy League Research University, Cornell possesses distinct advantage in limitlessly expanding the horizontal of students. Pastoral Ithaca scenery harbors the shore of Cayuga lake; surrounded by the spectacular waterfalls and peaceful countryside, the Cornell campus offers a fascinating environment for study. Its undergraduate research programs, Engineering Cooperative Education Program, well-established CNF and in particular Kessler Fellows Program attract me deeply. CNF in Cornell, which is the national centre for Nanotech study, is the suitable place for me to accomplish my ideas of devising low cost superconductors to benefit the society. The strong combination of entrepreneurship and engineering knowledge in KFP is a shortcut to my dream. Cornell, I believe, is the appropriate destination for me. And I, you should believe, will be a suitable Cornelliana.
concise, to the point, fluid, and eloquent - this piece deserves praise.
one last tip: read it out-loud. You employ your auditory sense as well as visual which makes it easier to add the finishing touches!
I think you're all set!
no prob I can take a look at your essays... I consider myself a tough reader. Unfortunately, the username link won't work on my comp for some reason so if you could reply links, that would be nice. If you could return the favor that would be even more nice :P (my UPENN - Jerome Fisher M&T essay really needs work!)
