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Posts by y2kendoll
Joined: Dec 30, 2009
Last Post: Feb 11, 2013
Threads: 2
Posts: 8  
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From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 10
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y2kendoll   
Jan 11, 2013
Undergraduate / Greek mythology ; COMMON APP - What fascinates me! [4]

For starters I would have to give you a C on your essay. One reason being, and this is simply from experience. People, especially teachers of higher learning NEVER want you to start a sentence with something negative.

Instead you could have simply said, What facinates me? Well five years ago, while spending my summer holiday at my uncle's house I came upon a book on ancient greek history and mythology.If it was a positive experience that still fuels you today, why would you start it of with a negative connotation.

I hope that makes sence,
I would not have written this essay if I had not gone to my uncle's house for the summer holidays, five years ago. I vividly remember my first encounter with an ancient history book that I found on one of my uncle's bookshelves; it was Ancient Greeks history and mythology. After the first reading, I loved this book like nothing else before. Beautiful illustrations made it even more interesting for my child mind; majestic Zeus, mighty Poseidon, formidable Hades and others, all of them made a commanding impression and awakened a great interest in me. Reading Ancient Greeks mythology became one of my a major hobbies y and it is still to this days .

An ancient myth believed by the greeks was that manMost important thing that the ancient myths glorify is that man should always aim to enhance both-his body and soul. I believe that to be a real issue nowadaysNowadays it is a very real issue , because a lot of teenagers are either too concerned only with their appearance or with their study and paying no attention to their health.

However, it is enough to look at ancient heroes, strong physically and mentally, to understand, what must be the ideal to strive for. Also, I like the presence of very deep sense, which is not always possible to find at first, but which necessarily raises questions about a lot basic and essential things in this life.- I don't understand what your trying to communicate in this part, maybe a more clarification will help.

Ancient myths made great impact on my personality and my views on life: I understood that I should always try to perfect myself and there is always place for growth and improvement. Moreover, I became much more interested in history and I think it is great, because as one quote says:" Study the past if you would define the future."

I think this part closes out your essay very well maybe a little tweaking it as far as your wording is concerned will suffice. Other than that good job.

If your going to quote someone please, please, please give them credit.
"Study the past if you would define the future." â€- Confucius

y2kendoll   
Jan 10, 2013
Undergraduate / A-S.T.A.R.-Y Weekend at a home within my home"; Tobin Hill/ UT-Personal interaction [3]

Personal interaction with objects, images, and space can be so powerful as to change the way one thinks about particular issues or topics, for your intended area of study architecture describe an experience where instruction in that area or your personal interaction with an object, image or space effected this type of change in your thinking, what did you do to act upon your new thinking and what have you done to prepare yourself for further study in this area?

A-S.T.A.R.-Y Weekend at a home within my home"

In our noticeably all for profit society, we must consider ourselves blessed to live amongst such charitable organizations, those individuals who strive to better the lives of those surrounding them, and I am even more fortunate to now call some friends. I consider myself very lucky to have been able to participate in The S.T.A.R. (Students Together Achieving Revitalization) program hosted by the City of San Antonio's Office of Historic Preservation. My love for this career choice was reawakened from what I first saw as a mandatory and daunting task became an event I would participate in for the next four semesters and lead me to participate in my first habitat for humanity to take place during my final spring break at SAC.

Nearing the culmination of a long and arduous semester, an early Saturday rise was definitely not something high on the list of priorities. Conditions were bright and warm; though slightly overcast at times, a morning with not much dew, arriving at Crockett Park ten minutes before eight a.m., there were many heads dawning assorted white, yellow, and orange crash helmets. Students were converging in a sandy vacant lot across from the park, some faces new others old and familiar. Many alive with anticipation, while others bore a burdensome distaste for the weekends planned activities. The air was electric with anticipation for what the day would have in store. The massing of individuals was clearly separated by the two participating schools, University of Texas San Antonio on one side San Antonio College on the other it was like the first day of kindergarten all over again. No such pleasantries were to be exchanged this was mandatory not fun. Now separated into perspective houses; twelve of us received house number three.

This was the revitalization of Ms. Helen's home, a pasty colossal two storey, four columned Victorian castle aged and leaning reminiscent of an old man perched over his cane. The white paint flaked as a dry scalp would on a black shirt. Standing facing each other we gave our introductions staring blankly at one another and then at the house. This was going to be a lot of work; paint scrapers now in hand we began to relieve its flaky shell. UTSA together in the front and SAC collected on the side. I chose to stand in the center of the team attempting to be a unifying presence. My first home renovating experience came as quite a physical challenge but the emotional gain made every drop of sweat, every cut, and every paint stained piece of clothing completely worthwhile. Day one complete and the pallid shell removed the castle was now ready for day two's painting and her reawakening.

Physically sore, day two began with a bang, hesitant curiosity hovering in the air a hands on opportunity would be presented to us. Mornings surprise of being presented with chainsaws, handsaws, and L-Square angle rulers. The usage of such materials, highlighted memories of construction and Prof Garcia's lectures of joists, columns, and post and beam, imagery of wood construction came flooding like monsoon tides. Giving our use scales and pencils a dreamlike past. The ability to use skills we had been taught was invigorating. I was flooded with many feelings mostly selfless accomplishment and privilege. Having the chance to actually spend quality one-on-one time with Ms. Helen really made an impact on my life by providing an even better understanding of how in need these forsaken families are. Working alongside Victor Salas contractor at our house was also learning experience that I will never forget. There are some people who will leave this earth having never done something for someone else, and there are those, too, who will leave this earth having been blessed enough to meet someone who sacrificed for them. I know that so many families have been touched by The Office of Historic Preservation's ever-lasting compassion and their desire to give deserving families back that place they call home, and returning San Antonio to her glory days. I am very thankful in having been able to be a part of this innovative and exciting program. Learning afterwards that I actually reside within Tobin Hill had me leaving the site giving out hugs and love because I was as impacted as the individuals we helped.
y2kendoll   
Jan 10, 2013
Undergraduate / In all of my life, I had never ridden a bike; Roommate Letter [2]

Wow... for a last minute essay. I believe you gave plenty of insight into what you can accomplish and your drive to accomplish it. The essay seems fine to me, especially the part where you stated that your roommates left you yet you continued to persevere. Sounds like a roommate that would be great to have especially at a school such as GT. I only hope to have a roommate that would be there for me and willing to experience life with me at UT.

Nice essay and good luck to you in you future endevours.

ps great to know that you differ from your roommates and you'll never leave a fallen com-padre behind.
y2kendoll   
Dec 31, 2009
Undergraduate / Jumping into the public school environment, a significant challenge [2]

Hi Macy,

Your essay was refreshing. Although you could possibly go into further detail about your exeriences.

As far as grammar is concerned you had a few minor mistakes.
...the horde of students bustling to and fro in the crowded hallways...

Instead of using "to and fro" try using "back and forth"

Frankly, it was an environment that I was greatly intimidated by. But it was too late to turn back; my ride was gone.

For a livelier and more persuasive sentence, consider rewriting you sentence using and active verb( the subject preforms the action, as in "The ball hit micheal")rather than a passive verb(the subject recieves the action, as in "Micheal was hit by the ball"). If you rewrite with an active verb, consider what the appropriate subject is - "they," "we," or a more specific noun or pronoun.

Although sentences beginning with "and," "but," "or," or "plus" maybe used informally, you should consider using the replacement for a more formal or traditional tone.

But it was to late to turn back; my ride was gone.
Try "However," or "Nevertheless"
y2kendoll   
Dec 31, 2009
Undergraduate / "getting out of my own way", How to answer college app essay questions? [7]

I have to answer two questions on my reinstatement application.
1. reasons for academic deficiency.
2. reasons that will prevent low scholoarship in the future.

Getting out of my own way...

"You are an amazing professional, are you still in school? What's your major?" I frequently hear these questions working the front desk at Lifetime fitness. My dream is to be able to answer it confidently. Continuing my pursuit for a higher education and finishing I will be able to do so. I take this opportunity summarize my cultural background, personal growth, and achievements. Besides mentioning my academic goals, I will also describe my experiences and how they shaped my interests in enrolling in the college of education and human development, the kinesiology program, and teaching/coaching.

My Stepfather was a military man and having seen how the military set him up for the life that he now lives. The military became a viable option for me, so I signed up my junior year of high school. I simply never thought of ever going to college outside of a track scholarship. Moreover, when that did not happen, I chose the military. Basic training was first, this journey to Ft. Jackson S.C. was to be the most challenging and intensely grueling weeks of my life. The psychological adjusting to this unfamiliar lifestyle was strenuous; learning the fundamentals of being a soldier I underwent rigorous physical training, to prepare my body and mind for the physical and mental strain of combat. Most importantly, I learned self-discipline through a strict daily schedule and extremely high expectations for which I was not immediately prepared to encounter.

My AIT job training school was next, I had the MOS 91E an army medic. My new location was on an Air force base, this journey was an enlightening experience, stationed there were all branches of the armed forces. My classes were mixed with all the branches. Hearing the dreams and aspirations of some of the other midshipmen, airmen and soldiers at Sheppard Air Force base I would further regain the motivation that I would need to prepare me for the challenges of my new life and possibly college.

I was born in small town Georgia, where many face a reality of violence and hunger, not having resources to tend to their healthcare or education. I never thought I would be applying to college. As a child, I never understood the importance of it. I was raised in a family where no one attended college. This gave me a theoretical idea that maybe some people are meant to go to college and that some are just meant to earn money by getting a good job that pays well. Growing up in an environment where no one goes to college, and where not many of the peers there are setting positive examples, created the state of mind I possessed.

Even though my parents did not possess university degrees, they never stopped encouraging my sister and me to seek a better education for ourselves. As I grew I realized I could make a change. My Family history and environment influenced me to be better and do better. I decided I would not be a statistic. Watching how my mother, a single parent, struggled raising, my sister, and me, from paycheck to paycheck also influenced the person I grew to be today. I am a determined individual striving for success. To me, when I succeed, it will be for my mother and family, all the young people out there who feel there is no hope for them because of their family's history and environment in which they were raised. I am striving to be a role model, because I believe no one should determine your future but you. Being able to continue my education is a great privilege and I plan to take advantage of it.

Many obstacles in my academic and personal life could have made it hard for me to be a successful person. However, life goes on, and those 'bumps' are just part of life. I am still learning how to deal with them, as I get more mature. I know what I have to do, when, and how. Building self-confidence, to fight my own insecurities is one of the hardest tests in my life. I would constantly change my mind about what is the right thing to do, or what is the best decision to make, or when is the right time to do it. Spontaneity and emotion played a large role in creating the interesting character before you today. A lot of that molding and forming clouded my visibility of the ultimate prize, the goal of being the first male of the Brown family to graduate from college. Substance abuse, legal issues, and finally confinement showered my first few years at UTSA making it almost impossible for me to be successful. That time of my life was a learning experience and showed me where I would not like to be. After all, the final decision to be successful is within me. It has taken me a long time to realize this, now that I have there is nothing left standing in my way of reaching out and grasping that elusive dream of mine.

La Petite Academy where my mother was the director, she introduced me to early childhood education and I obtained incalculable rewards in following the children's growth. I was able to be a role model. I was the one to hold their hand to teach them, to see the determination when a child begins reading when I am the one who teaches them the words, among others. I realized the pleasure of teaching and discovered my real vocation.

My most salient characteristics as a teacher are to be well organized, persistent, communicative, and be very playful, as my mom used to tell me, "to teach children we need to have a child inside ourselves.". Subsequently, I found a job based on my experience. I started working as an infant and toddler teacher at La Petite Academy, and did so for two and a half years. I wish to study continue my studies in the College of Education and Human Development and re-enter to build a career for my future and the future of my family. Completing a Kinesiology degree offered by the University of Texas at San Antonio will allow me to benefit from the various perspectives of its unique program.

I intend to incorporate my personal experience, aspirations, and career goals to this program. Furthermore, I would like to learn as a method I have never experienced, by sitting down on a university's chair, by participating in research activities, taking advantage of the many interdisciplinary opportunities that the University of Texas at San Antonio provides.

My fascination with human development will guarantee my success as a university student. Consequently, it propels me to fulfill my dream to pursue a higher education, and I am prepared for this challenge. My dream is to energize with a formal education the experiences that I have gained and be the proud holder of a bachelor degree.
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