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Posts by tomjohnson373
Joined: Dec 30, 2009
Last Post: Jan 1, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  

From: United States of America

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tomjohnson373   
Jan 1, 2010
Undergraduate / "help guide me to where I can be" - why is stanford a great place for me? [7]

I really would suggest that you do not say:

"I deliberately chose the ones that I knew would help me go far. I didn't want to impair my educational potential by applying to a community college or any other college with the same ranking"

This makes it sound like you're just using stanford to give you a boost to your future career. This is not what Stanford wants to hear. In place of this I would say "I chose colleges with a unique history and vivacious student culture" or something along the lines of that. You want to show that stanford can benefit from you being there not the other way round.
tomjohnson373   
Dec 31, 2009
Undergraduate / The faculty of thinking and acquiring knowledge; Stanford/ Intellectual Vitality [4]

So here's my answer to prompt #1, tear it apart please!

Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging.

"Why?" was the usual response I expected from my parents when I asked if I could build a trebuchet. The answer was provided when they saw three teenage boys victoriously launching oranges halfway down the street. After much rebuilding and reworking we had a five-foot wooden structure that flung oranges over our neighbor's fence half the time and propelled juice grenades into my kitchen window the other half. The trebuchet was a pile of rotting wood and rusty nails jutting out at all angles, but somehow arranged in a way that the movement of the counter-weight provided enough momentum to slingshot those juicy projectiles higher than the tallest telephone poles in our neighborhood.

However, I realized that the only reason my trebuchet worked was because of trial and error. The sling tore within the first two launches, but the new and improved sling, utilizing the unparalleled strength of marine rope, was installed before the sun set. The structure wasn't sturdy enough, but two crossbeams fixed the problem. Some might call these failures or mistakes; I call this learning. Intellect is defined as "the faculty of thinking and acquiring knowledge", and learning from mistakes is one of the best ways to acquire knowledge. Leonardo Da Vinci's first trebuchet design fell short of his expectations but he didn't give up and improved each design.

All the years of building Lego towers that fell down, producing lop-sided Erector contraptions and launching misguided orange projectiles has led me to my love of engineering and physics. I'm always ready to learn from my experiences whether they end up successes or failures. Who knows? Maybe one day instead of launching oranges into my neighbor's yards I could be launching oranges to Mars.

Thanks! - John
tomjohnson373   
Dec 30, 2009
Undergraduate / "I am not legally able to vote yet" - Stanford Essays [28]

Hey, I'm in California Youth and Government too! And i'm also applying to Stanford this year... small world..

Anyways, I think what this essay might need is a short relation to how this could help you outside of Youth and Government. For instance, it you say you have an "interest in law", where can this intellectual experience help you in your goal to learn more about law at Stanford?

I know you probably don't have many characters left but I feel that Stanford not only wants to hear about your experience but how it relates to your goals and aspirations. So far it's really good, make it pop.

Of course this is only a suggestion, so take it or trash it!! haha

- John
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