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Posts by sinziana91
Joined: Dec 31, 2009
Last Post: Dec 31, 2009
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: Romania

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sinziana91   
Dec 31, 2009
Writing Feedback / teacher's teaching ability, a salary rise and a promotion to a higher level - teachers evaluation [5]

To begin with, a school knows that a teacher puts enough heart and soul into giving knowledge to students. To illustrate, in my home town, one of my teacher Mr. Kong always hands out all papers necessary for a student to pass a final exam. He always acts as a part-time consultant to help out students who have low grades. When given the evaluation form by the dean, almost all students respect him best, which results in his consistent level of teaching throughout a semester.

i don't think you can actually "give" knowledge .. sharing maybe? teaching students?

consistent level? i believe high level would be more appropriate

Furthermore, a school is likely to consider whether one of the teachers is qualified for an increase in a monthly payment. To be specific, in addition to having the ability to teach students, Mr , k ong is taken into account the able one who are given a one thousand dollar next month. When the end of the semester comes, students are required to submit an evaluation form to an office of the dean for consideration. The result is that Mr, Kong is finally cut out for a pay raise.

i don't really understand this sentence: is taken into account the able one who are given a one thousand dollar next month
does mr. Kong take into account or is he taken into account?

The result is that Mr, Kong is finally cut out for a pay raise.

this doesn't sound right to me. you could say something like : Mr. Kong would not receive. and i believe "finally" is unnecessary since the beginning of the sentence is: the result..

More important, a school finds it easy to move one of the teachers to a higher rank. To be specific, Mr, Kong is not only given a salary rise, but he is also transferred to a head of the Academic Department which are responsible for handling educational matters in a school.During the meeting [with all] of the boards of a school, he is selected as one who tends to be chosen for taking on this position, because of his evaluation form handed in by students.

he is selected as one who is chosen? this sentence is not clear enough
because of the results from..

Such form indicates that he is the best one for head of Academic Department.

form or forms?

In conclusion, it cannot be denied that if a teacher is evaluated by students, it will provide the following things.

which things? following means you will state them next

A school knows who pay most attention to his teaching career, who are suitably qualified for a pay raise without any doubt, and who has enough qualifications necessary for doing a more difficult position.

pays, who is suitable or who is qualified (but not both)
sinziana91   
Dec 31, 2009
Undergraduate / Confused - cornell supplement - college of arts and science [3]

What do you think about it? It's not finished but I wanted to know if its alright to go this way. I really don't know if it sounds how it's supposed to. Pleease please help me!

College of Arts and Sciences:
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.

It all began with a perfect score.
I myself was quite amazed about it; being better than 120 other students is a huge accomplishment at the age of 8 (numbers are not that objective after all). Back then, 2 times 4 was not always 8, therefore I was accustomed to getting modest grades in math quizzes and not the big, round, written-with-pride 100. But I finally got it, and it brought me the qualification to the next phase of the competition; it felt like the whole world of mathematics was lying at my feet. Of course, my performance at that final phase was disastrous, but this was not enough to put me off and make me forget the sweet taste of perfect scores.

I would soon intuitively discover that mathematics was not all about numbers and calculations; it was about - what I would later regard as - logical connections, algorithms and creativity. Without any of these, the quest for most of the solutions of math problems (and life problems, if you think about it) would be in vain. Even though when I left primary school I had also left behind my beloved "best at math" status, I would still try to look behind numbers to discover and understand the story they told. It took me a couple of years to get the right answers again, but the feeling was amazing. Out of nowhere I was back on track, this time not as the best in my school but among the best students in my county; it was some kind of awakening, and I've never been "mathematically" asleep since then. The next year I qualified for the National Olympiad and I cannot stress enough how enthusiastic I was to find out I was one of the top 5 students; with a little more attention and practice I would had participated in the Balkan Olympiad; it did not happen, but I have not missed any National Olympiads since then. I met there the most amazing students, teachers, dreams and minds. The friendly competitiveness that usually surrounded us is something I would definitely like to encounter in my following years as a student at university.
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