Undergraduate / Girls, Girls, Girls- Common Short Essay [21]

Sorry, I didn't mean to be mean :(
I was just trying to say that you should make this one a bit more professional because all your colleges will be seeing this response.

I'm a girl :)

Undergraduate / Girls, Girls, Girls- Common Short Essay [21]

I agree with ktcat4002...you're applying to a "bunch of colleges" and with each college, there's a very low chance that the admission readers will appreciate that the best hobby you could think of was "girls". The only time that your "obsession" with girls worked was with your Princeton true love (that's was really good:)). If you're using satire and simply making fun of the people whose lives revolve around girls, I don't think they'll get the joke. They might, but I would just be safe and change the topic.

Undergraduate / "horrific crimes against humanity" - Georgetown personal admissions essay [5]

Haha. It did seem like you did something like that. You could use a lot of what you wrote in your new essays though - the supermarket example (I think admissions people like to read anecdotes in general)


NO problem! My essays have already been turned in, but thanks for the offer! :)

Essays / Limit is 1500 but I have 1604; Is it bad to exceed your personal statement word limit by 100 words? [4]

You should always keep your essays under or at the limit. It shows that you can tell your stories succintly and that you are able to think your ideas through. Also, it's a good idea to show that you can follow directions.

Undergraduate / "horrific crimes against humanity" - Georgetown personal admissions essay [5]

I don't think you should sound so negative in your first two paragraphs. You don't really need this this anyway, with the way you're approaching the topic - the space could be used for better stuff - just a suggestion


try a dfferent synonym of "arguing"

It's one thing to debate in a structured environment, where points are awarded for good arguments or for deftly refuting an opponent's speech and where listening isn't just essential, it's mandatory . When debating an injustice i n the outside world however, when you're debating an injustice, you first have to get the ear of those you want to convince. do you mean get the attention of the people you want to convince?

so a friend and I took the first step in organisinginitiative to organize a large group of teenagers

...You seem to jump from loving debating and political stuff to wanting to help people who are suffering...
I think it would be better if you changed the entire essay to explain that your participation in debating is caused by your desire to utilize your experiences of debating and mix it with your hopes to return politics to the old ways of integrity and actually helping the people...

That's what it seems you really wanted to say

Good Luck!