Borik
Jan 3, 2010
Undergraduate / Paramedical Experience -- Common App Essay [4]
I liked your essay. One thing that stuck out was the use of "horror". You have the phrase "mind freeze/froze in horror" twice, and use horror twice in the first paragraph. I feel you should try to find another word/phrase, but that's just my opinion.
I liked your essay. One thing that stuck out was the use of "horror". You have the phrase "mind freeze/froze in horror" twice, and use horror twice in the first paragraph. I feel you should try to find another word/phrase, but that's just my opinion.