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Posts by gonnabe1me
Joined: Jan 14, 2010
Last Post: Jan 14, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 7  


Displayed posts: 9
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gonnabe1me   
Jan 14, 2010
Undergraduate / Skidmore's supplemental essay: Passion for Skidmore's International... [15]

(Question about commonapp: so if the deadline is 15Jan,
is the deadline 14Jan 11:59:59 or 15Jan 11:59:59?
I've sent it in anyways, but just wondering :/lol)

For essay 1, I can't find any noteable grammatical mistakes, and you seem to have quite a firm grasp on the language & diction- nothing for me to comment on :( aww

I was a bit befuzzled at "vicariously", but I guess the smarter kids in town do use it regularly? lol

this intro is great!
if I'm an app dean, you're in ;)
goodluck!!
gonnabe1me   
Jan 14, 2010
Undergraduate / Skidmore's supplemental essay: Passion for Skidmore's International... [15]

my vote goes for the 1st essay :)
it's much more smooth and flowy, which makes me feel that you are confident in what you are saying.
I like the variety of things you describe in the second essay and the ending (that you will not only learn but also ACT), but the continuous repeptition of "I wont do onlythis" makes it a rough intro
gonnabe1me   
Jan 14, 2010
Undergraduate / COMMON APP SHORT ANSWER ESSAY: Social Service Club [3]

There are 2 short answer essays on this post:
please edit, and also tell me which one I'd do better with! :)

========================= =============================================

"Ha-ssa-ran-gni." The tiny Sri Lankan girl in front of me giggles delightfully at my fifth failed attempt to pronounce her name. I frown comically and express my confusion, and gesture her to teach me once more. "Haa-ssa-raang-gni!" I don't see the difference, but try mouthing the words again anyways just for the joy of pleasing the little lady and for the sake having fun together.

Many of the times during Social Service Club, I had to communicate and play with small local children like Hasarangani who I didn't share a language with. At first, the challenge would seem daunting, but with a little patience, perseverance and careful attention, a language barrier could not stop us from enjoying a pleasant time together. The pride that I can help somebody and the joy of seeing another child depart with a satisfied smile brings me back for more.

========================= =============================================

"Hey, Singapore!" Even though it has been three years since I've first participated in COMUN as the Delegate of Singapore, I still have a dozen friends from other schools who call me "Singapore", and another dozen who call me "Barbados". I enjoyed every moment I took control of the stage, and the heated, passionate debates at my first MUN mesmerized me, and drew me to participate in MUN again as the Delegate of Barbados.

While researching about the participating countries and the problems at stake, I was introduced to a new field where I quickly became inquisitive for more information and thriving to reach better resolutions. This has now grown into my dream and passion to become a diplomat and a member of the UN which career path I want to start pursuing by studying International Relations at ________ University.

========================= =============================================

please edit edit edit and comment comment comment!! :D
gonnabe1me   
Jan 14, 2010
Undergraduate / FPU, Pepperdine essay-- Faith and service. [5]

hahaaa
I'm still writing my pepperdine supplemet :P

Since I can remember, the actions taken in my life have been there for someone.

I dont get what your trying to imply here, and seems like jpg_76 is also confused

Your essay does reply to both aspects of the question, but if the word limit allows you, you could benefit from expanding and explaining a bit further.

the overall grammar is not bad, but it has quite a few flaws
I'm sorry I can't edit this more specifically cuz I need to finish off a few more of mine :(
gonnabe1me   
Jan 14, 2010
Undergraduate / "Chicken Curry Sushi" - my common app personal essay [8]

oops :)
my interest in international relations was mentioned in the "Ban Ki Moon Part Deleted" written in red lol suggested to me removed by wanderer_X

"I have once read in a biography of the current UN General Secretary Ban Ki Moon that he wanted to become a diplomat who let the world know of the existence of a country called Korea. His life story inspired a dream into me: I want to become a diplomat; a representative of our country and a member of the UN who works not only for one's own country but for the improved lives of people all over the world. I want to use my cross cultural life experiences for the benefit of other children who have dreamt of, but had not had the chance of, traveling. "

do you think this part should come back?? :)

THankyou for your comment!!
gonnabe1me   
Jan 14, 2010
Undergraduate / What would you research about and why...my supplement.. [5]

Wanderer_x
Thankyou for your comment on my post :)
please come back to see the version ammended according to your & 'curious's advice!
additional and specific criticism will be adored<3

I love the way you end the essay with a quote from Edison, and addressing yourself as a'researcher' is brilliant! It gives your essay a touch of professionalism :)

This essay sounds personal as well as professional, and I dont see any part of it which I can touch

as far as I can comment, you can be proud & confident about this essay:)
send it away! ;D
gonnabe1me   
Jan 14, 2010
Undergraduate / "Chicken Curry Sushi" - my common app personal essay [8]

thankyou for your comment!

Do you think this essay is suitable to apply to places like Trinity U, Pepperdine, Emory, SUNY Binghamton, Carleton College and Northeastern? :/
Does this essay reveal my personality and "me" as a great prospective addition to the college?
If not, how could I improve?

Thankyou!

(The wandering offs are also part of my random personality, but if it looks like a flaw, I'll correct it :))
gonnabe1me   
Jan 14, 2010
Undergraduate / "Chicken Curry Sushi" - my common app personal essay [8]

A Chicken Curry Sushi with English Tea, Sil Vu Plait

Do you know what a chicken curry sushi with Korean bean curd filling tastes like? Well, I've tried it, and unfortunately, it doesn't taste as nice as chicken curry, sushi or Korean bean curd served as separate dishes. And how, you may ask, did you come across such a weird combination? I made it. Of course. Don't laugh! I was curious how I would taste like if I were a dish: would I taste nice? Would people enjoy eating me? And that was the innovation behind the dish named Somang.

My shiny green passport says I'm Korean, but I've seen outside the box. I've lived in Sri Lanka for quite a proportion of my life, and lived as many years in England and Africa as I have lived in Korea. I'm one of those kids known as MKs and TCKs-Missionary Kids and Third Cultural Kids- who enjoy feasting on a slab of slightly burnt chutney as much as on a roll of tuna kimbab, like to have bacon-and-egg for breakfast rather than a bowl of white rice and spinach soup, and love keeping a chirpy transparent gecko lizard as a pet rather than your regular furry hamster. Of course, not all TCKs think geckos are adorable, but I find their innocently blinking glassy eyes and tiny webbed feet most squeaky! I mean, cute.

Sometimes, people would approach me and ask: "Wasn't it hard for you to leave your own country and follow your parents to a less developed country at war?" At those moments, I would smile politely and tell them how I was only 18 months old when I boarded on my first flight, and that I couldn't possibly have felt much remorse. Then they would chuckle understandingly and question no more.

I don't mind having lived in Korea only for a while, firstly because there was a Korean society almost everywhere we went, and secondly because I've enjoyed my bits of adventure. I distantly remember a tiny Somang with tiny dirty feet following a huge African bull-toad up a very slanted and stout banana tree. I also recall a squirmy little Somang squatting inside a tattered box with her Sri Lankan friends, sticking a long, dry twig outside the brim of the box, playing "we-are-fishing"- only with no fish.

Moreover, life is too short to spend regretting and pondering about a life I "could have" had. My life was more about cheering for Korea during the World Cups with our Sri Lankan and Indian neighbors on a 6-inch TV screen, and chasing after the ice cream-bajaj with my friends, waiving a crumpled ten rupee bill frantically above our heads. Besides, if I lived in Korea, I may not have met my two loving best friends who are charmingly Sri Lankan and elegantly Filipino. Someday, before any of us gets married, we're going to go traveling around Europe on bikes with nice brown baskets attached to the front, each basket occupied by a sleepy parrot with feathers matching the color of our bikes. Until then, we really should stop thinking about marriage.

So, wait, do you mean you don't see yourself as Korean? I've come across that question quite a few times, and my answer is NO: I am 100% Korean by blood, and my central roots remain deep inside Korean culture. My parents have put in much effort during my younger days to bring me up as Korean as possible. The first words I spoke were "Umma" and "Appa", not "Mommy" and "Daddy", and I learnt how to use chopsticks to pick up a leaf of spicy hot kimchi even before I started using a fork to poke at a carrot stick. Besides my international circle of friends, I have a comfortable place in the Sri Lankan Korean society where I talk with my friends about Korean singers, movies, and- believe it or not- recent news and politics. Although you might think it's weird for teenage kids to sit around and "gossip" about what they read on the news during their free time, news is a huge connection between us Koreans out here and the actual Korean society, and talking about it even seems inevitable. Moreover, I am all ears for news, international affairs in particular. What decision would this country make at such a situation? Would they accept the deal? Speech! I tell you, this is much more intriguing than any old gossip magazine.

Back to the point; I am Korean, I feel Korean, and I am proud of being a Korean. I'm just a more internationalized version with multiple subcultures and integrated mannerisms.

Ban ki Moon part deleted

Life as a missionary's kid was not all sweet romance as I have told you, but I have taken all I could from my current life, and I do not regret the experiences I have had. I have enjoyed every culture I have visited in the way a local member of the society would with all the joy and suffering, and this has helped me understand and accept others to a greater extent. Also, as our family was placed and replaced across the world, I was situated amongst strangers and in foreign cultures all the time. As I rapidly became accustomed to "change" itself, I understood the basics of quickly befriending new people. Wherever I went, I was not surrounded by "strangers", but seated among friends. I believe that this will act as a strength in any society.

So, do you know what Somang tastes like? If you think you have seen it all, you're in for a shock. Would you like a taste? It's Somang!

p.s. Do you know how a monkey ended up in our kitchen?

====================================================================

The topic is "of your choice" an it is 1104 words including the title.

Please tell me what you think (e.g. it lacks substance, it's too long and boring, unneccessary paragraph) and please check the grammar and style too!!

Any editing MOST WELCOMED :)
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