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Posts by carlosx09
Joined: Jan 14, 2010
Last Post: Mar 16, 2011
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 5
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carlosx09   
Mar 16, 2011
Scholarship / "I believe that technology is a big change in the world." MDC Scholarship Essay [4]

Hello guys, I need help in my essay I would like you to review my essay and tell me what should be changed or added thanks!

Prompt:

In order to better assist us in determining if you are a deserving MDC Scholarship recipient,
please provide us with one or more of the following criteria:
Why do you consider yourself deserving of an MDC Scholarship?
Please explain.
Miami Dade College or Community Organizations
List to which organization(s) you belong,
your contribution to the organization(s)
and if applicable, position held.
Community Service
List the organization(s) where you completed your hours
and a description of the work performed.
Extenuating Circumstances
List any extenuating circumstance(s) that you consider are vital
in the decision making process of awarding you a scholarship.
(example financial hardship, health related, or other)

ESSAY

Gandhi once said "Be the change you want to see in the world". For me this means that if you want something to be different you need to do something to make it different. I've been in college for 3 months now and I already see life in a whole other way. I believe that my true wish is not getting an education to get money, but to be able to make a change in the world. Scholarships are made to help students make these changes in the world. Right now awarding me ...

[...]
carlosx09   
Jan 15, 2010
Poetry / 6,142 Feet - a poem of less than 8 lines that "best represents me" [9]

"I have reached my destination, achieved my goal and conquered."

put something like

I have achieved my goal, reached the top.

something like that.. in my country i use to compete in poetry contests and the point is to make a poem meaningful but at the same time not long my advice is to put the important words but make the verse shorter

hope it helps
carlosx09   
Jan 15, 2010
Undergraduate / "For almost one hundred years, the Latin words" these values will guide me [2]

Hello! my name is Carlos Osorio and i wrote an essay for Florida State University but i am having a rough time in expressing my english because i come from another country and some things i want to say in spanish i don't know how to translate them to english so a little help would be great and tell me what you think..

Here is the prompt:

For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.

Here is the essay:

The values that I have learned through all my life made me realize how many different things the world has to offer and that we have to get benefited by all the knowledge we can to improve and to reach our desired goals.

To start with, Vires for me is the meaning of all the courage, will and power I put into something I want to achieve, for me this value has been put into use through all the events of my life and the important decisions that had been through my mind, It also helped me to take actions that made me learn a little more meaning to my life and to grow up.

Secondly, A value that has reflected my life all along is Mores because for me, coming recently from a different country made me learn how living in a different place makes you realize tradition, and history are far away different from where you were born, for me this made me learn that tradition is the mark we leave to show where we come from.

After all, for me these values will guide me and teach me through my past, present and future experiences that wait for me.
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