Letters / Persuasive Letter (proposal for change, rapport, credibility, logical arguments) [4]

(I'm writing a persuasive letter for my college class. Its a proposal for change & I need to build rapport & credibility, & make a few logical arguments. Thanks in advance to anyone who can help me edit and give me a few tips.

Dear ****,

You, like me, have seen a favorable amount of success at a very young age. Even though we have gone down different paths in business, we have always triumphed over adversity. I am proud of what you have accomplished so far with your new website, but I am also aware that you are having some difficulty in capturing your viewer's attention and maintaining a high retention rate. Hopefully, my expertise in marketing can help your website gain an extra advantage to ensure even more success. I encourage you to inspect this letter very carefully before you decide whether or not you want my help.

****, what you presently have, or how your website is currently running is not satisfactory. You can do, have, or be more and generate exceptional profits. My advice has helped many people just like you get improved results. Try them once. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Imagine your future as you deserve it to be. You can reach your dreams and achieve your goals with my help. The more you read through my ideas the more you will understand how easy they are to implement as an integral part of your business.

You probably already know that success on the web does not happen by accident. Running a successful online business requires self-discipline. Unfortunately, we know that self-discipline is not the sole factor to success. Maintaining a viewer's attention is vital. You only have 4 seconds to capture a viewer's attention. By developing an interactive layout for your website, you can increase the average time spent on your site. Most websites fail at keeping the viewers attention; please do not make the same mistake, it is essential to keep your site creative, interesting, and interactive.

Around one year ago I read an article that positively changed my marketing career. The gist of the article stated that you must offer some sort of continual benefit and/or social experience, in order to maintain a high retention rate of viewers. By offering a newsletter that gives updates, information, and discounts, you will be able to connect with the viewer. Another way to maintain a high retention rate is by creating a forum. You offer your viewer a social experience as well as the chance for them to express their needs and opinion of your website. That alone enables you to the make the necessary changes that will increase your retention rate. A forum also creates an "internet family" that will invite new members to join your website, creating a free word-of-mouth marketing campaign.

Creating a forum, making a newsletter, and revamping your website might seem expensive but the return of the investment is huge. Spending a little money and giving 33% effort is better than being cheap and giving 100% effort. My ideas are much easier to implement than they look. Once you have everything up and running, you will notice an increased retention rate and a diminished bounce rate, I guarantee it. I would not tell you to implement these ideas if they truly had no benefit for you, because I always want your respect and I know you will make the right decision.

I hope everything goes well and I know you will be successful, yet again.

Best Regards,

*****