Writing Feedback / Comparison and Contrast : Differences between two lives [2]

Please help :) this is for my english class. Thank you

Differences Between Two Lives
Countless of people would like to go abroad, but something always prohibits them from doing so. But it's different for me. I have been moving overseas three times. In the year 2000, I traveled to the United States and lived in Houston and California for approximately a year, and then I moved back to Indonesia. When I was 16 years old, I moved to Saudi Arabia and still reside there. Now, I'm in San Antonio, Texas, to pursue my study, leaving my parents in Saudi. Living alone is daunting and demanding for me because I always had my parents to help me whenever I have problems. Today, my life is completely different than it used to be before. There are differences between my life back home and my life in the US and both lives have positives and negatives.

Freedom is always one of the reasons why I hated being home. There is not much freedom back at home in contrast to living alone in the states. Back home, I had to wake up early every day, I had to clean my room, I had to clean my house, I had to take care of my baby sister, and do other chores. It's not that I don't like doing chores, but I usually got exhausted from doing those chores all the time, especially when my parents are annoyed if I did something wrong. Sometimes I just wanted to be alone, but both of my sisters always came into my room and left a mess. At times, when I just wanted to be alone, my mom always made me do something. Mainly, I couldn't do anything that I wanted to do without my parents' permission. There were times that I became a rebel and didn't do what they wanted me to do and broke their rules. Occasionally, it was too hectic being at home, which made me want to run away. However, here in college, I can get as much of freedom as I want without worrying about my parents and my sisters. I can do whatever I want in my dorm: no curfew, no sisters to make my room untidy, no parents telling me what to do, and the most important is that I'm alone. I always leave my dorm and come back whenever I want. No one calls me and asks me to go home anymore. This is the life that I always wanted: to live alone without having to agonize about anything.

Needless to say, there are many things that I abhor from living alone. Usually, when I'm stressed out because of school, my mom bakes me cookies or my favorite cakes. My mom always takes care of me, as well as my dad. My dad always helps me with my studies, especially math. He's always there to assist me with any studies that I have difficulties in. And my sisters always try to cheer me up by their presence in my room whenever I'm sad. Even though I sometimes find them annoying, I need them to make me laugh and I need someone to play with. These are my favorite people who always support me when I'm down and they always encourage me in any situation. They are the ones who make me happy inside the house. Another thing about home is that everything is done by my mom. For example, my mom cooks the food, my mom does my laundry, and my mom wakes me up in the morning. Yet in college, I don't have anyone to wake me up and no one cooks my food. Here, I have to be autonomous: find my own food, set an alarm and do laundry on my own. It was hard to adjust to these routines in the beginning of the year but I managed to be independent. I was taught how to be sovereign by my mom and I've learnt plenty by doing so. I'm used to doing things without the help of my family but that's not enough because I want someone to bake me cake when finals are coming or someone to study with or someone to play with at my dorm. Students here have their own duties to accomplish, so it's not easy for me to have someone who is always there akin to my family. I get homesick most of the time and I just want their presence here to guide me in every step of my college life.

Life is diverse in both situations. Back at home, there is no uniqueness in my surroundings because I only see the same people every day. I barely meet new kids or students and I couldn't distinguish what it feels like to have expatriates as my friends. It gets boring sometimes when I hang out with the same people. I contemplated what it feels like being in another country; I wanted to know how other cultures are and I wanted to know their traditions as well because I know they're all unique. That is what I adore about studying in US. I get to know other people and their cultures from various countries and I also meet new people every day. I remember how it felt when I first came to the US in 2000. It was nerve wrecking since I didn't understand English that well. I tried to make friends but it seemed harder than I thought it would be. Understanding what the teacher is saying without a dictionary was extremely complicated. I always cried and asked my parents if I could go back to Indonesia, where I'm able to comprehend people. My parents kept saying that this is a once-in-a-life-time opportunity and that I ought to be thankful. I kept making an effort and I succeeded; I ended up enjoying it because in the end I had loads of friends from all over the world. However, this didn't last long because I had to move back to Indonesia. It was depressing and it was really hard for me to let go of everything that I had accomplished. I finally knew what it felt like having people from other countries in my surroundings, but I had to go back to my normal life in Indonesia. At this time, since I understand English, I can interact with people much easier and get to know more about a variety of customs. I have international experiences and I learn how other people are in each country.

There are advantages and disadvantages in both lives and I never regretted what has happened. I admire every single thing that I've gone through, even though each experience was challenging. I was about to go to an Indonesian school. If I had given up and gone back to Indonesia, life would have been much easier. I would be with my friends and at a school where I would have no difficulty following the classes. However, I would not have had any international experiences and I would not be able to speak English. I also wouldn't have the chance to attend one of the prestigious schools in the US. I'm thankful for both early and present lives. I've learned a lot and I'm still learning.

Rani Putri

Undergraduate / "never giving up" - Purdue essay. best advice [2]

This is for my purdue essay. please help. the topic is what is the best advice you've ever gotten and how do you apply it.

My dad taught me how to ride a bicycle when I was a little girl. I almost gave up from learning it because I fell a lot of times. I was so fed up and wanted to stop practicing, until he came up to me and asked, "Do you really want to ride a bike?" I told him that I want to ride it so I can go hang out with my friends on my bike. His reply still rings on my mind; "Then what is stopping you from doing what you want to do?" I stood up next to my bicycle and said, "It was too hard learning it because I kept falling." And my dad replied, "Well if you give up now, it will give up on you." That was the day I learned something from riding a bicycle: Never give up on anything. I hold on to that sentence until now.

I still remember how scary it was, walking through a hallway full of people speaking a language I could not understand. I moved to the United States from Indonesia when I was in 4th grade. I had to adapt in a completely new environment. In class, I was the only one who cannot talk English. All I understood was "yes" and "no." Every day, I came home crying because I couldn't understand what people around me were talking about. Being in an American School when you don't speak English is extremely hard. It was too difficult for me to make friends and do assignments. My teacher put me into ESL class and my mom taught me how to speak English a little bit as well. Learning English wasn't easy as I thought it would be. It was really exasperating to learn new words that I I'm not acquainted with. I told myself that I can do it and I can prove to everyone in my class that I can speak English because I did not want other students to have "oh-no not her" faces anymore when they were assigned in a group to work with me. I worked hard but it was still too difficult for me. I literally couldn't take it anymore until I told to my parents that I want to go back to Indonesia where I can be with my friends and able to understand them perfectly. Then my dad said nothing but smiled at me. He said, "If you really want to go back without anything, we could go back." The memory of learning to ride a bike came to my mind. I remember my dad's sentence and used it as a guide for me to decide. I have come this far and it's not the time to quit. Of course my life would have been much easier if I was to give up and go back to Indonesia. However, I wouldn't have gotten any international experiences and I will never understand English. I would have lost a lot more if I gave up. So I studied and worked hard each day until I can speak English fluently. Finally, after all the hard work, I made friends from all over the world, I understood what people were saying, I made good grades, and boys sent letters to me! I'm glad that I did not give up. The key is never giving up. I am sure that in the future, I can always get through any difficulties if I don't quit. My dad's advice works like magic.

Writing Feedback / How to Apply to Universities in America from Indonesia (process analysis) [3]

I'm writing a paper on process analysis. please correct me if im wrong cus im not good at writing :)

How to Apply to Universities in America from Indonesia

Numerous of people in Indonesia really want to go to colleges in the United States but something always goes in their ways. Some people just couldn't afford it and some people just don't know how to start applying. For those who really want to go abroad should go abroad. There are a plentiful ways to get admitted into universities in the United States.

First thing to look at before students start applying is the major they want to do. Some students have a difficult time choosing what major they want to do. To choose major, one should be alert of what they're good at, what they enjoy doing and their abilities of a specific subject. There is abundant of majors that students could do and there must be one of them that match their abilities. Students can also do undeclared if they still can't decide a major. Next, it's important to look at what major the universities offer. Students can look at universities that they're interested in to ensure if the universities have the major because some universities don't have all of the majors and some only concentrate on one major.

Second thing to look at is their financial circumstances; whether or not they could meet the expenses of tuition fee and their monthly budget. Students should search for a college that they could afford to go to. The tuition fee ranges in America so there must be one university that students can afford. Almost all universities list their tuition fees in their websites. Therefore students could estimate their financial needs. Monthly budget is the other thing students should concern about. Living expense in the United States is not quite cheap and students should aware of their needs and how much to cover them. With these two estimated, students ought to approximate their budget for living in America and find universities that match their economic condition.

Third, students should look at the required documents in order to get in. All universities have different requirements. Students need to carefully review their university choices since it's important to meet all the requirements to get accepted. Once students have all the list of the required documents, student should start applying to the chosen universities. Most of the universities need SAT (Scholastic Aptitude Test) and some don't. SAT test can determine whether or not a person is ready for college. Universities in America have different expectations of SAT scores and it is the first thing that most universities usually look at. Students should take SAT scores and meet the expectation in order to get admitted. Although SAT test can be really hard, students should not give up trying since SAT can be taken more than once. Another test that international student needs to take is the TOEFL. It evaluates the potential success of an individual to use and understand standard American English at a college level. It is required for non-native applicants at many US and other English-speaking colleges and universities. Besides SAT and TOEFL test, most colleges want essays on given topics. Other than that, all colleges just want transcript from the institution.

Once a student is done choosing a major, choosing a university, and completed all the required documents, student can send all the application in. It usually takes 3 weeks or so for the university to review all the application and it can be nerve wrecking having to wait for the result. When the university is done reviewing all the application, they will mail the result and students will get it in 5 days or so. On the letter, they attach I-20 and a summarization of what students need to go to get there. I-20 is a government form that tells the U.S. government that students are eligible for F-1 Student Status. It certifies that: they meet the admissions requirements, they will pursue a full course of study and they proved to the universities that they have enough money to study and live in the U.S. without working illegally or suffering from poverty. Afterward, Indonesian students would want to go to an American Embassy and apply for visa since they need one to enter America. They would ask students to prepare many documents, including the I-20, in order to get the visa. Once students have it all prepared, they would be asked to come for an interview. After the application is granted, the visa will be processed in 5 days or more, and then they will get their visas.

Once they are done with visas, they would want to consider about when to go overseas. In this case, students need to know when the orientation is. Most colleges would like international students to come to orientation. Students also should be aware of jet lag because of the time difference between Indonesia and America. Therefore, they should arrive in America ahead of time before the orientation. After everything is set, students should be good to go abroad and continue their studies.