Writing Feedback / SAT prep essay about materialism [3]

Please critique my practice SAT essay.
Thanks for your help.

Prompt: Should modern society be criticized for being materialistic?

Materialism should be scorned. Modern society has taken materialism to extremes previously unimaginable. Increasing materialism in today's world is causing worldwide debt and deprivation.

One example of the debt problems being caused by materialism is the increasing number of in debt Americans. The average American earns ten percent more money than the average American of 30 years ago. Even with this increase in income, today's American is nearly twice as likely to be in debt as an American living 30 years ago. Why is that? America's increasingly materialistic mindset has caused many Americans to spend more money than ever on consumer goods.

Deprivation is another common result of a materialistic mindset. While countries America and England enjoy relative wealth, other countries like Africa have an absolute poverty rate of over twenty-five percent in some areas. America and England have become so materialistic that they have established appalling trade relations with poor countries like Africa. The clothing industry is a prime example. African workers are paid half of what an American or English worker would be paid. The clothing goods produced by these poor African workers can then be sold to American and English consumers. Because of low production costs, and the American's and English's materialistic tendency, the clothing industry owners reap huge benefits. In this way, some countries' materialism leaves other countries in a shameful state of deprivation.

Modern society's materialsm has caused debt and deprivation in today's world, and it should be criticized. Some have touted money as the root of all evil, but perhaps we should now shift the blame to materialism.

Writing Feedback / SAT practice essay about the possibility of knowing oneself [3]

Prompt: What must we do to truly understand ourselves?

Since the dawn of our existence, humankind has strove to fully understand themselves. We have created religions, defied accepted behavioral norms, and driven ourselves to near death in the hope of coming to understand ourselves. The sad reality is, we can never reach this perfect state of total understanding.

Religion is a popular choice for those who wish to know themselves. In the New Age religions, people look inside themselves for answers. New Age followers practice meditation to probe the depths of their beings in an attempt to understand themselves. They never achieve a full understanding and instead spend their life in search of greater knowledge.

Hippies of the 1970's strove to understand themselves by maintaining peace with the world. They thought that by bringing about peace in a troubled world, they would come to fully know themselves. In truth, the Hippies found that bringing peace to a warring world would be ultimately

impossible, as would their dream to know themselves.

A great philosopher once said, "Know thyself." The best we may ever hope to do is to try. Total understanding has proven impossible for all previous generations, and the same will eventually prove true for all to come. But perhaps this is a blessing in disguise, for do we really wish to know ourselves?