Scholarship / The Big Picture: Community Service essay [5]

TimMill
Lots of good examples :) however instead of using "the humans" maybe use the community or people, it's a little awakard like I'm an alien reading an reaport on the human species. Also rather than stating that engineer is not try to convince people on the positive side and if you want you can say something like engineer is an vital part in the process of making the community a better place. BTW I don't know if it's just me but if i were the one reading your essay i would like to hear the word "our" more often than I because it indicates that all that you are doing are for the benefit of society and you are a proud memeber of that community. for example rather than saying my school say our school, rather than saying my team say our team it makes you a teamplayer at the same time a perspective student. Try not to make yourself sound egotistic and perhaps give the impression that you are like the kind of person with a "warm and gentle hand".

This is just some personal opinion and I maybe wrong .
Overall good job and good luck. =)

Essays / A subject to introduce myself -- engineering [6]

I think what you have done is pretty good, however if you want to make this introducion better you should introduce something about yourself that's kinda personal but not too personal; enough to make you stand out from the rest of the crowd who are doing the same thing. Something about you that makes people want to remember you. Wish you luck :)