Writing Feedback / I completely agree with the point that the ability to plan and organize is essential to young people [4]

TOEFL essay:
Do you agree or disagree the following statement? Modern society has become more complex, so it is essential for the young people to have the ability to plan and organize.

planning and organisation - necessary skills

I completely agree with the point that the ability to plan and organize is essential to young people.

Firstly, the young generation is required to be efficient and effective by modern society. And there is no doubt that learning how to plan and organize can make a youth become more considerate and more responsible. It also means he is working without waste and using a minimum of time, effort and expense. By this way, he definitely will be more helpful than before. Just like American Ex-president Franklin Roosevelt said: No country, however rich, can afford the waste of its human resources. Therefore, as a young citizen who cares about his own country, should notice the significance of planing and organization.

Secondly, this kind of skills will ensure the young people a well development in their career life. Businessmen prefer to complete the project on time and on budget, civil servants handle affairs in the eight working hours, a coach believes in system training plans, and an engineer not only has an open mind but also does lots of structured work. I used to be a teacher, and the most important thing I learn from my career life is always being a plan maker. By this way, I accomplished many goals on schedule. Make it a habit to be organized, and make a plan scientific, those will mean a lot to young people.

Most of all, having this ability really makes our daily lives easier and happier. Just imagine, when you blog, your essay always be well organized; when you travel, you've already made a wonderful journey plan before you go; even when you cook for your family, you master the time perfectly, although the process is complicated of preparing all the meats and vegetables. Are they great?

In short, modern society has extended the range of people's activity, and thus made good planning and organizing skills needed in every aspect of our lives. So nowadays the ability to plan and organize is much more essential to young people. I would like to say, these skills will be really helpful for the young to live a life successfully.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL essay:Twenty years from now, people will have more leisure time than we do [4]

Twenty years from now, will people have more leisure time than we do now? I really don't think so. And I've got two powerful reasons to support my point.

Firstly, the young generation is required to be more efficient and effective by modern society. Most of the youths want to have better ability to plan and organize. But one may ask: why is this so? I think the fact is these kind of skills will be really helpful for us to live a life successfully. Just like American Ex-president Franklin Roosevelt said: No country, however rich, can afford the waste of its human resources. And many businessmen get used to listing a schedule for arranging their time reasonably. What are listed on the schedule? May be work time, business trip, business dinner time, online time, newspaper and instant coffee time, laundry time, gym time, (gardening time, kids pick-up time, ) probably psychological counseling time as well. What a living machine! Perhaps there are not always a place to add a reading time or a family time on it. If we think carefully, we'll recognize that people are living under increasingly pressures now, although our home and work place are well equipped with modern appliances.

In addition, nowadays our world is facing the challenge of population ageing. The population of new births is reducing, the shortage of young people will cause a series of social and economic problems. Take China for example, the population in China has been strictly controlled in last two decades by the Only Child Policy, the following consequent is very serious. Several years later, a middle-aged couple in China will not only need to feed their own kid, but also have to take care of four aged parents at the same time. Because they don't have any brothers or sisters to lend a hand, it will be a big challenge to this family.

What's more, the serious aging problem not just has influence on individual families. As we all know, China is famous by her cheap labor, but now the world's factory faces the same problem. Although the population in China is still the highest in the world, with the working-age population decreasing, the labor costs will become less competitive, thousands of labor-intensive industries will suffer a cold winter. How to solve this problem? The best answer is still unknown. However, some Chinese experts suggest putting off retirement age to cope with it, and so far it seems like a realistic solution. It means 20 years later, people will work three or five years longer than now before their retirements, will they be pleased about that? It's hard to say. In any case, people will hardly have more leisure time than we do now.

To sum up, under the coupling effects of the rapidly developed economy and population aging, it is evident that people will hardly have more free time in the future.

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Hello, everyone~~~
It is my first essay, and I cannot figure out the 3rd reason to support my point, so I say 2 powerful reasons... It's embarrassed. ^_^

And I got a question about the worlds "ageing" and "aging", what's the difference between them?
Thanks!