Unanswered [26] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by sprasad89
Joined: Jun 25, 2010
Last Post: Jun 28, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 4  

From: India

Displayed posts: 5
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
sprasad89   
Jun 28, 2010
Writing Feedback / Write about anything we feel effects our world [6]

I think your first sentence is fine and does not need the correction proposed by Zainab.

I see you have dealt with only the political aspects of the world. If it is a general topic asking you for things that would affect the world, you might as well include the environmental concerns and the technological progress.
sprasad89   
Jun 25, 2010
Writing Feedback / Doing a job with hands or with your brains? [4]

Hi, I have tried to correct the grammatical mistakes you have committed.

Selecting a proper job which fulfills ourdoes justice to our aptitude and talent is very important in our life . Some people prefer choosing jobs in which they do things with their hands. However, some other people prefer jobs where they do things by thinkinga lot of thinking is required . According to my physical and mental abilitiesGoing by my caliber , I really prefer to have a job which requires more thinking rather than doing things with my handsthan hands on stuff . Moreover I think working with head needs less equipment and contains less risk than working with hands.an intellectual job does not need sophisticated and heavy equipments when compared to hands on job.

Due to the experience of my childhood and my universityFrom the experience I have gained throughout my childhood and university life,I think that I have special aptitude in thinking.I feel I am better off at things which require a greater application of thought . When I went to schoolIn my school days , I usually did my math assignments really better than my drawing assignments . I can rememberrecall that I could solve most of the math problems which my classmates could not solve. Also, in university, I was more creative in my projects of computer programming than my laboratory projects. I really could produce better programs in C++ in compare withcompared to other students. Therefore I understoodGradually I came to understand that it is better and more advantagesadvantageous for me to choose a job which includes more thinkingan application of mind into the job.rather than doing with my hands.

In addition, the jobs which need more thinking and mental abilities usually require less and lighter equipments than the hands on jobs which include more working with hands . For example, in my major which is telecommunication, during my work, I just need my laptops, some information and data and maybe some related lectures. These things are usually available for me. Especially today by fast growing ,thanks to the rapid growth in the internet services , I can find any information and data which I need in a short time. Furthermore I do not need to carry heavy things in my work ,and It is really good for my health because carrying heavy things which sometimes is often required in hand workings is kind of harmful for knees , elbows and bones.Also, in my kind of work, handling of heavy equipments is greatly reduced which is beneficial in preventing any accidents or health concerns at the work place.

In conclusion,I would like to conclude saying that I really prefer to have a job which includes more thinking than doing with hands because I think that I am more talented in thinking. Moreover thinking needs less equipment, and it also contains less risks and harms which are common in doing things with hands.hands on jobs.

One thing which stands out in your essay is that you have used the same point many times. Try to substantiate your claim by thinking of some real life instances, or why the hands on stuff repels you to such an extent.
sprasad89   
Jun 25, 2010
Writing Feedback / Chronic fatigue and depression in USA vs Asia: Reasoning of an argument [4]

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument.

A recent study shows that people living on the continent of North America suffer 9 times more chronic fatigue and 31 times more chronic depression than do people living on the continent of Asia. Interestingly, Asians, on average, eat 20 grams of soy per day, whereas North Americans eat virtually none. It turns out that soy contains phytochemicals called isoflavones, which have been found to possess disease preventing properties. Thus, North Americans should consider eating soy on a regular basis as a way of preventing fatigue and depression.


The author of this argument has incorrectly assumed many facts and made certain inferences that might not hold true in all cases.

For once, the standard of living of an average North American is much higher than that of an Asian. Also being an industrialized region, a North American is exposed to an entirely different atmosphere than an Asian. Under these circumstances, drawing a comparison between these two diverse sets of communities is not guaranteed to yield accurate results.

The author does not have substantial evidence to claim that the presence of soy in the diet of Asians is actually keeping them in good health compared to their North American counterparts. There may be any number of reasons for this difference in figures, which the author has not bothered to look into.

The author also has not given any insight into the type of diet of an average North American or an Asian. If at all, this decline in the health conditions is based on the diet, then sufficient data has to be provided to substantiate this claim.

Also, the presence of isoflavones might be good in preventing a certain type of illness or a disease. But it is incorrect to assume that this ensures immunity or a cure for all types of diseases. Moreover, fatigue and depression are more of work related disorders than any conventional diseases. The author has to provide sufficient material or data to support his/her claim in this regard.

Taking all these reasons into account, stating that the absence of soy in the diet results in fatigue and depression and thus must be included in the diet is not meritorious. Nevertheless, if the author provides adequate data substantiating his/her insight in this regard, this inference might gain some credibility.
sprasad89   
Jun 25, 2010
Writing Feedback / The city v small town-county - Comparison-Contrast Essays [3]

Jocelyne 3
There are muchmany more ways to pastimepass time , have a walklike having a walk around the park, driving or walking to the play grounds with yourone's kids,Notnot hearing or feeling the busy, hot street,and the crowed people screaming one to anotherat each other. Enjoying ,enjoying going to the farms, smelling the fresh air, relaxing the minesmind and thoughts.es and t, something, you can't do in the big city, because of our society lives being in such ofa hurry, and annoying trying to see for themselves and not was good for all.It is also annoying to see people caring for their own good and not what is good for all.

One of the advantages in a small town is having the chance to have big lands, which is something the city does not provide. Land where we can work and live from what we had have earned from workingworked . Where the noise, the sirens are hard to hear. Houses apart from one to another forcing you either to go over or call to see you're next neighboredneighbor . Where the atmosphere, the air is more pure and delicious, making you to never go back to the busy big city.

HoppingHoping one day the old days comes back, always thinking that we are the ones who make the place enjoyable or unpleasant. Bring the best of all, turning your environment the best way you can.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳