Write about anything we feel effects our world

>Any thoughts?

We live in a world that is threatened by the very thing that defines us. Men are dying in the hands of those who differ from them in opinion and culture, yet who are one in the same global community. Our future is currently a question of right versus wrong; good versus evil. It is that very question that threatens to kill thousands, perhaps millions, of lives that could otherwise be spared if only we begin today recognizing our similarities and put aside our differences. Such a hope will not be met easily. It will require effort from policy-makers throughout the globe, but we must not assume that future generations will achieve it. Our generation has much yet to live through, much more to see. However, we have still learned much thus far. We were merely children when the September 11 attacks struck fear in the hearts and minds of millions throughout the world. We watched our parents tremble in fear for the thought that another Cold War would soon be upon us. As children, we did not know of such past history; but we did know of tears and of fear. It is that very innocent witnessing of such that must serve to unite us in years to come.

The future is now but an empty book that will one day be read by our children and our children's children. Such history will one day be created by us. It will be created by the young boy who lost his father in the world trade center and by the baby who was ripped from her mother's arms in Iraq. A wrong is a wrong, and a right is a right. No American, nor Iraqi, can question that. However, the definition of wrong and the definition of right in our world today is not one in the same. Yet, what is the same is the grief that one feels in losing a loved one or in watching a parent torn from one's arms. No human being can question that. An eye for an eye, in the words of Ghandi, has made and will continue to make us a blind world; a world ignorant and nonetheless unaware of the suffering of others. We must not seek to live or work in such a world; for in such ignorance breeds hatred. Instead, we must seek out a future that is stripped of ignorance and flourished with understanding for one another. A world where innocent civilians in all countries are not killed by the horrors of war, but where they are united by peace. That is the world we must imagine for ourselves, and that is the history that should one day influence generations to come.

I think your first sentence is fine and does not need the correction proposed by Zainab.

I see you have dealt with only the political aspects of the world. If it is a general topic asking you for things that would affect the world, you might as well include the environmental concerns and the technological progress.

I think your first sentence is incomplete. What is it that defines us? Our diversity? Values? Customs?
Add a word that is the theme of the paragraph.

Men and women, too. "People" is a better word than "men." Too often, we use languag in a way that marginalizes women.


Our future is a question? That is intriguing, but this idea needs more explanation. Maybe you mean our future will be determined by the answer to a question of...

...throughout across the globe, but we must not assume that future generations will achieve it. Our generation has much yet to live through, much more to see. However, we have still learned much thus far.

Use semi-colons like periods. A semi-colon works just like a period, with a complete sentence on each side of it. In this sentence, use a comma instead:

As children, we did not know of such past history, but we did know of tears and of fear.

This is an awesome adaptation of the quote: An eye for an eye, in the words of Ghandi, has made and will continue to make us a blind world; a world ignorant and nonetheless unaware of the suffering of others.

you are great! essayforum.com/ef-contributor-page/

thats such a lovely essay!.. :D
however, there is something that I did not like--u misspelled the name of a great personality..its 'Gandhi' and not what you wrote.
Thanks...