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Posts by sharl_cureg
Joined: Jun 25, 2010
Last Post: Aug 6, 2010
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Posts: 3  

From: Philippines

Displayed posts: 3
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sharl_cureg   
Aug 4, 2010
Undergraduate / Knowing oneself, is the beginning of all wisdom - the purest reflection of me in a mirror [9]

hmm. I have read an essay somewhat similar to yours.
especially in this part:

This mirror serves not only as a tool for contemplation and revelation it is the purest reflection of me, and through looking through this mirror did it help me know and find myself.

and the other "mirror" parts.
No offense meant.

Oh! BTW, are you applying at Ateneo De Manila University?
If you are please PM me at
sharl_cureg@
(If you don't mind :) )
sharl_cureg   
Aug 1, 2010
Undergraduate / Is God real? Is it true that He's there in times of my deepest sorrow? [7]

I think you should improve the coherence of your essay.
The flow of your essay is I guess, a bit too fast.
From the question alone, you will know that
what you should write is a narrative essay.
you should focus more on the feelings
you felt and relate it to the readers.
your essay should have more descriptions
on what happened, how it happened
what you felt. and you should have strong
connection from one paragraph
to another. :)
please take this as a constructive criticism

BTW, are you applying at Ateneo De Manila?