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Posts by raafia93
Joined: Jul 23, 2010
Last Post: Jul 27, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 3
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raafia93   
Jul 27, 2010
Undergraduate / "A diverse place" - Rutgers Essay [4]

thanks,
but i thought i was answering the prompt with the boring stuff. like how i woul benefit & control.
raafia93   
Jul 26, 2010
Undergraduate / "Parliamentary inspection of the administration" - Commonapp 150word essay [3]

penn2015

Representing forty-eight million people and a thousand monitors, only three were allowed to enter each committee. Parliamentary inspection of the administration was held twenty days a year. However, before NGOs monitored it, the congress neglected it. That day, I was allowed to enter the legislative committee. I arrived early, read the sourcebook and arranged my thoughts. The most important mission of the spot monitors was to check congressmen's concentration and the exact time they leave their seats because cameras only focus on the person who is speaking. After the fourteen hours of monitoring, On one hand I was relieved because there are many lawmakers who really do their best but on the other hand , I was distressed because some people slept or even left the place. I pledged to myself to become a person who could make an atmosphere and system where a public figure cannot dare neglect his duty.

hope i helped a bit.
raafia93   
Jul 25, 2010
Undergraduate / "A diverse place" - Rutgers Essay [4]

Hi, below is my first draft of the Rutgers Undergrad. Essay. I'm not the best writer so please make as many corrections as you think possible. thank you!

Essay: Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment? Consider variables such as your talents, travels, leadership activities, volunteer services, and cultural experiences. Only personal essays submitted via our website will be considered. You may enter a maximum of 3800 characters including spaces.

It was like any other day in my honors US history class during my sophomore year when my teacher began describing his trip to some state in the Midwest. He is a comical man, so he was telling us jokingly about how over there rush hour is comprised of only two cars as compared to the bumper to bumper traffic jams we have here in New Jersey. He was also telling us that he met a man there whom he befriended. This man said that my teacher was his first Jewish friend. Everyone in our class laughed, and found it so surprising. I guess most of us were so astonished because the place that we live in (Central New Jersey) is filled with so many different types of people, that it seems sort of impossible to not meet someone of another race, culture or religion. We were also amazed at the fact that there are places on this Earth, let alone in the United States, where people weren't accustomed to the gift of diversity.

Ever since my teacher had told us about that story, I have been thinking about what my life would be like without such diversity. Maybe I would have been ignorant to the other types of people out there in the world, or maybe I just would have been all the more curious. Nevertheless, I am glad that I was exposed to such a variety of different people at an early age.

Since I am so used to such diversity, going to Rutgers would not seem so foreign to me. I would not feel as if I've entered a completely new world just because I've entered college. I believe that by being a student at Rutgers University, I would meet a ton of new people with a "wide variety of backgrounds and experience." And by meeting all these new people I believe that I will get to know more about these backgrounds and perhaps find out about new cultures and ideas. With such knowledge, I know that Rutgers will shape me into the adult I have been planning to be my entire life.

I would definitely benefit from the Rutgers environment, but I would also contribute to it. As a Rutgers student I would do a lot of volunteering as I have been doing throughout my high school career. I have volunteered at a variety of places, but the one that I go to regularly is Robert Wood Johnson Hospital. Volunteering there makes me realize how delicate life is, and when I can see a smile on even just one patient, it makes me feel so delighted inside. I honestly love the feeling of giving back to the community I am a part of. Another thing I would like to do at Rutgers is perform, preferably sing, in front of an audience. Maybe in a talent show of some sort, but I would love to just get on stage. Usually getting onto a stage while numerous eyes are on me, and only me, makes me quite nervous. I performed in my school talent show junior year, and although I did not win the grand prize, the joy I felt when I performed was enough (And the claps, cheers and chants from the audience were great too). I was also a part of the school's drama club sophomore year, and performed in an annual show called "Theater Revue". As a student at Rutgers I would love to perform on stage with an even bigger crowd cheering me on. I would love it even more since you don't see that many Pakistani-Americans singing on stage (in my experience). In that way I would be both fulfilling an interest of mine as well as diversifying the type of talent on stage.

Overall, I feel as if every person I have encountered in my life has molded me into the person I am today. And I know that the "molding and shaping" wont stop, since I will keep on meeting new people as life goes on. And I know that Rutgers will provide me with the opportunity to meet those new people. And like I stated earlier, Rutgers would play a huge role in turning me into the adult I have been eagerly waiting to be my entire life.
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