Undergraduate / "My dad passed away when i was just 11 years old", an application essay. [17]

Hi there,
This is very moving well done. You can definitely improve with some basic spelling and grammar help. For example, try to start every sentence with a capital letter, and perhaps try to make your structure a bit clearer. Start with a clear introduction setting out the subject of the essay and what you will cover then try to split into new paragraphs for each new idea and keep them separate. Watch out for your punctuation too, as you sometimes put commas where you don't need them or don't put them where you do- try to put them wherever you would naturally pause if you were reading it out. For more advice there is a good website I know focus which has a very useful blog you might find helpful. There are posts on grammar, spelling, improving essay technique and structuring an essay - this might help with several of your problems

Really good luck

Book Reports / Thesis for Paradise Lost - original thesis needed [6]

Hi Marie,
I definitely agree with Kevin, just going through trying to pick up on the themes that seem to present themselves to you most often as being important and relevant is a great way to work out what kind of overall ideas you want to focus on.

Another way to tackle this is to brainstorm several of your ideas and see how many different sections of the text they seem to apply to, then go for the one with the most relevance to different areas as this will give you the widest thesis and the most to talk about. With Paradise Lost (I studied it in my first year) it's also really helpful to look at contemporary literature of the same period as this can give you ideas about what might have been important to Milton and what issues he may have been considering at the time of writing, which may manifest themselves as interesting and important issues within Paradise Lost itself.

If you are still stuck, in my first year when I was really overwhelmed with trying to get started on my dissertation thesis, I found this website for dissertation help a real life saver -it might just get you kickstarted and help you with some new ideas. Check out their blog, it has a whole section on Masters dissertations, including how to choose a topic and how to write your proposal.

Really hope this helps,
Laura