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Posts by inthedemps
Joined: Aug 23, 2010
Last Post: Aug 24, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 3
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inthedemps   
Aug 24, 2010
Undergraduate / My mother is my courage, inspiration, and hero. [7]

i think what your missing is exactly what you learned from your mother. you have to talk more about something she did that made you act a certain way in a specif situation. you talk about her in the beginning and end but the story takes a whole new path and it is solely about you. it is a very very good essay and your mother sounds like an amazing person, but it doesn't seem like she greatly impacted many of your decisions.

i would really like if you edited my essay!
inthedemps   
Aug 23, 2010
Undergraduate / My CommonApp Essay about John Lennon [5]

Thank you for editing my essay. I have taken everything you said into consideration and am revising my essay. I would love to take a look at yours for you!
inthedemps   
Aug 23, 2010
Undergraduate / My CommonApp Essay about John Lennon [5]

I haven't even edited this yet but i would really like some feedback on it. Is there anything I need to change or add or take out. All critics are welcome. I also need a title if anyone has suggestions!

here is the prompt...

Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence.

If there is one quote I would use to describe myself, it would be John Lennon's saying:

"I'm not going to change the way I look or the way I feel to conform to anything. I've always been a freak. So I've been a freak all my life and I have to live with that, you know. I'm one of those people."

I truly am one of those people. I was born in 1993, thirteen years after John Lennon was murdered, but he has impacted me greatly on the way I choose to live my life.

I decided at a young age to never conform to other people's views. My mother would not admit it, but she had a plan of how she wanted me to act and look around her friends. Growing up I was always a tomboy. I wore sweatpants and sneakers to school and had friends that were only guys. In fourth grade my mom started trying to dress me in "more girly" clothes. Instead of trying to please my mom I stood up for myself and continued to dress the way I wanted to, which was comfortably. From adolescence to the present I have tried my hardest to be an individual and keep away from stereotypes. I try to let people know that it is okay to be an individual even if it means standing up for yourself in awkward situations. John Lennon sat in bed for a week to inspire peace and I dressed in a crazy outfit and paraded around my camp to inspire individualism. I may not have made a worldwide impact, but when I explained to people why I dressed up foolishy a few younger campers decided to be fearless and participate in the talent show.

While watching the documentary "The U.S. vs. John Lennon" I stumbled upon a quote that Lennon said," A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality." To me this quote means that without friends and community it would be very hard to accomplish anything. We all need a helping hand, which is why I tend to push my friends into situations that may be uncomfortable but I know will benefit them in the end. This past year my friend became serious about trying to make it as a singer. She took the approach most people do and posted videos on youtube.com. Earlier this year I saw an ad for American Idol and realized that they were coming to a town not far from her house. It took much debate but I finally convinced her to tryout. Even though she did not win, she got the critique she needed and continued to further her music career. People have urged me to do things that I have not wanted to do, like performing in front of a large crowd, but I realize that I have only become a stronger person from those experiences.

Because of my friends I try to give back as much as I can and show people what I have learned about life. I may not always take the most stereotypical approach but I do what I need to do to get my point across. There are few rules I live by but the ones I do have made my journey special. For starters, never take anything too seriously or you will lose yourself in the process. If you care about something, work hard to achieve it. Help those around you prosper and you will prosper as well. John Lennon has inspired the way that I choose to live my life. He worked hard and certainly made a fool out of himself. He took an unusual approach to being outgoing and inspired millions of people. I am not at rock star status, but if I can inspire at least a few of my friends to go out on a limb and do what they want to do, then I can lead a happy life.
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