Undergraduate / My life as a lacrosse player, my frist college application essay, very rough draft [7]

This is my first try at my college essay (the large one). 250 words minimum, and I chose the prompt that allows me to talk aout a choice in my life that has affected me greatly. Any help will be much appreciated!

I nearly threw up at my first lacrosse practice. I was in 8th grade and terrified of the high school girls that I would be playing with. When I walked onto the field the girls seemed like giants, they towered over me, huffing and puffing from running. They were almost bull-like. My stomach became even more nauseous when the coach put this foreign object called a crosse in my hands.

I was at the bottom of the list. I initially started playing the second half of the JV game, maybe a few seconds in the first. I worked hard at practice and at home, playing with my lacrosse stick and carrying it around. The more I played, the deeper I fell in love with the sport. As I gained more skills with my stick I started to gain more play time and the trust of the upperclassmen as well.

Once I became a freshman the academic difficulty was kicked up a notch. I discovered the difficult challenge of being a high school athlete and a high school academic. What with managing tests and quizzes and reports on top of practice, I started to feel buried under all the work. Over time, though, I began to balance my class work and my sport. I learned to plan my studying and homework time around my practices. I started to gain a sense of self-discipline. I was elated to see that studying a few days before my test because I had a game the night before was paying off as my grades began to improve. That reinforced what I was doing to prepare for school, so even during the off season, I started studying earlier from the test date.

In my sophomore year our only goalie was a senior, which meant that someone had to start training for the spot. I have always had very good hand-eye coordination and quick reflexes, so after some badgering from the senior goalie I decided to step up and become goalie. I spent most of practice inside the goal learning techniques, but when I learned the most was on the field. Being goalie was something I had never aspired to do, but the first time I stepped into the crease during a game I felt like I was in a new house, it was bare and blank; my job was to decorate and make it my home. I kept training during the summer of my sophomore year, working on improving my goalie skills. When the season of my junior year started, I felt much more confident in goal.

Just because I was more confident in goal my junior year, doesn't mean that I had everything under control. My emotions became a big challenge to control. Every time a shot was made, I took it personally. I would start to cry in goal, which would bring my team mates down. Then I would feel guilty and it would create an endless cycle. At that point I realized that being goalie wasn't just my position, it was my chance to lead.

I realized that as a goalie, I have a special view of the whole field. I can see the holes in the offense. Then I direct my teammates on how to defend. Even when the team is down, all it takes is a little bit of energy to influence the mood. This is where I am most affective, whether it is a pep talk at half time or by screeching "Good Job" across the field. That motivated me to keep my emotions in check and to encourage my team mates.

Through my four years of playing lacrosse I have learned a lot about myself. I am a hard worker, I enjoy ...

I am still working on this part, but any comments on the rest of my essay would be great!