reiichi
Sep 2, 2010
Writing Feedback / Ielts: Study at school or get a job? [3]
Thank you so much ^^
Both of you are so kind! I'll make a correction of it XD
Thank you so much ^^
Both of you are so kind! I'll make a correction of it XD
reiichi
Aug 31, 2010
Writing Feedback / Ielts: Study at school or get a job? [3]
Many children are forced to stay at school and study subjects that will be of little value to them in the future. These children may disrupt the education of the majority and should be allowed to leave school early to find a themselves a job.
What are your views?
Many people believe that children should study at school to have more knowledge that prepare better for their future. Others, however, think that these children may disrupt their school work and should be allowed to leave school early to find a job. Personally, I tend to agree with the point of view that student have to be forced to study at school.
First of all, schools offer to students a good environment with experienced professors and high quality programs for studying. It creates the best conditions for students education and can force them to focus on their school work instead of wasting their time to do useless things. Second of all, schools provide lots of academic knowledge to students. Students may learn professional skills, expand their understandings and gain experiences. Therefore, they have more opprotunities to find a job and to be successful in the future. For example, as we know, employer always prefer to hire an employee of high degree who have professional skills.
Nevertheless, it is not unreasonable that some people think that children should interrupt their school work and get a job. Whether children can learn a lot at school, there are many subjects that will be of little value to them in the future. Furthermore, children can learn social skills when they have a job. They can get more experiences that can not be obtained at school. Working helps children be more independent and teach them to esteem and manage the money that they've earned.
Overall, I believe that students should study at school. Even though there are some advantages of leaving school to find a job, studying at school is always the best choice for children's future. There are many ways that can train children to learn independent and social skills instead of getting a job.
Please give me some advices. Thanks in advance ^^
Many children are forced to stay at school and study subjects that will be of little value to them in the future. These children may disrupt the education of the majority and should be allowed to leave school early to find a themselves a job.
What are your views?
Many people believe that children should study at school to have more knowledge that prepare better for their future. Others, however, think that these children may disrupt their school work and should be allowed to leave school early to find a job. Personally, I tend to agree with the point of view that student have to be forced to study at school.
First of all, schools offer to students a good environment with experienced professors and high quality programs for studying. It creates the best conditions for students education and can force them to focus on their school work instead of wasting their time to do useless things. Second of all, schools provide lots of academic knowledge to students. Students may learn professional skills, expand their understandings and gain experiences. Therefore, they have more opprotunities to find a job and to be successful in the future. For example, as we know, employer always prefer to hire an employee of high degree who have professional skills.
Nevertheless, it is not unreasonable that some people think that children should interrupt their school work and get a job. Whether children can learn a lot at school, there are many subjects that will be of little value to them in the future. Furthermore, children can learn social skills when they have a job. They can get more experiences that can not be obtained at school. Working helps children be more independent and teach them to esteem and manage the money that they've earned.
Overall, I believe that students should study at school. Even though there are some advantages of leaving school to find a job, studying at school is always the best choice for children's future. There are many ways that can train children to learn independent and social skills instead of getting a job.
Please give me some advices. Thanks in advance ^^
reiichi
Aug 30, 2010
Undergraduate / I taught English to underserved kids- most significant non-academic accomplishment? [3]
I think that you should have a paragraph or some sentences about why this experience is your most significant accomplishment ^^
I think that you should have a paragraph or some sentences about why this experience is your most significant accomplishment ^^
reiichi
Aug 25, 2010
Writing Feedback / exciting and colorful - ielts: doing the same thing or change? [2]
i'm learning ielts but my writing is quite bad. This is one of my essay, please check it for me. Thanks all in advance ^^
Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same thing. Others, however, think that change is a good thing.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same thing. Others, however, think that change is a good thing. Each though has its reasons. I will consider these different point of view as well as give my own opinion.
On one side, some people believe that they could have a good life when doing the same thing over again. Familiarity and mastery give them comfort and confidence in realizing a job or a task and the competence of having mistakes is minimal. Moreover, that kind of people who familiarize with something usually can not adjust themselves for the change. Therefore, they are afraid and may feel unrecognized or unwelcomed in the new surroundings. For example, old people always keep their prejudice and their formal lifestyle.
On the other side, many people enjoy changes in lives. They are always seeking to something new. For them, life is more exciting and colorful while doing different things. Furthermore, changing life is a great way to expand our understandings and improve the personal ability. These days, many young people decide to go abroad for their education where have different culture and lifestyle. Otherwise, we cannot deny that our life get better thanks to many changes and advances in technology, communication and transportation. Education and health care system improve and provide many benefits to people. However, change is a great opportunity but also an enormous challenge. Pollution and crime become today negative effects of change.
Overall, both view have their own merits. However, I am fully convinced that change will occur and no one can stop it from happening. So the best way deal with change is to keep pace with it.
i'm learning ielts but my writing is quite bad. This is one of my essay, please check it for me. Thanks all in advance ^^
Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same thing. Others, however, think that change is a good thing.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same thing. Others, however, think that change is a good thing. Each though has its reasons. I will consider these different point of view as well as give my own opinion.
On one side, some people believe that they could have a good life when doing the same thing over again. Familiarity and mastery give them comfort and confidence in realizing a job or a task and the competence of having mistakes is minimal. Moreover, that kind of people who familiarize with something usually can not adjust themselves for the change. Therefore, they are afraid and may feel unrecognized or unwelcomed in the new surroundings. For example, old people always keep their prejudice and their formal lifestyle.
On the other side, many people enjoy changes in lives. They are always seeking to something new. For them, life is more exciting and colorful while doing different things. Furthermore, changing life is a great way to expand our understandings and improve the personal ability. These days, many young people decide to go abroad for their education where have different culture and lifestyle. Otherwise, we cannot deny that our life get better thanks to many changes and advances in technology, communication and transportation. Education and health care system improve and provide many benefits to people. However, change is a great opportunity but also an enormous challenge. Pollution and crime become today negative effects of change.
Overall, both view have their own merits. However, I am fully convinced that change will occur and no one can stop it from happening. So the best way deal with change is to keep pace with it.
