Undergraduate / Big Things? Little Things! (I quit the Model United Nations)---UC #2 [3]

Is that okay to say something NEGATIVE here in the essay?...I'm in doubt about my topic and tone...Please! Everything you suggest would be soooo helpful!

--------------------------------------------------
Prompt 2
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

Big Things? Little Things!

I quit the Model United Nations after participating for two months.

Having just entered the top high school and immersing in ambiance of excitement and ambition, I raised a misty goal deeply in my heart: To do something significant and special, and to make my own contribution to the world around me. Alleviating the world's financial crisis or bringing peace to Middle East was all accepted as the very "something".

Soon after school began, I was captivated by the MUN because of its slogan, "We at MUN get together for a better world." It sounded just right! Besides, the images of wearing fitted suit, throwing myself into intense discussions with magical words like "UK affirms intention of cooperating" and greeting my classmates with "Hi, Norway!" or responding "Not bad, Dominica! See you around!" in the hallways were fascinating. I immediately attended an interview and obtained an official position within the MUN.

However, as time passed I discovered the "big things" were not to my liking. How could I fulfill my goal of making a difference through these endless chaotic debates, ill-considered papers, and dates with pompous boys after the conferences, rather than walking out the meeting room and taking something PRAGMATIC into practice? The MUN in China employs neither academic analysis nor critical thinking, and is far from its more formal and organized counterpart in western countries. Also it drove me far from my initiate anticipation "to bring out a better world".

The turning point occurred with foundation of BHSF Charity Club. We were shown series of pictures taken when some of our alumni were volunteer teaching in Wenhua Migrant Children School---I doubted if it could be called a school, however. It consisted of four classrooms, a hundred students and twelve teachers. That's all. No playground in the thirty-square-meter small yard, no drainage systems in washrooms, no extra classes except for math and Chinese, no advanced equipments, really, in spite of desks, chairs and a blackboard, no teachers with college diplomas. What I could hardly imagine about a school was exactly all the children obtained. While hardware beyond acceptance, to my surprise, children seemed satisfied. The big smiles on their faces hurt my eyes with brightness. Should I regard them as abject, or yielding with no aspiration, when what they got were all we were willingly to offer? Tears were sliding down along my cheek before I had noticed, as a thousand realizations seemed to hit me at once. While migrants from countryside pushing development process of cities, their children have no access to reasonable educational opportunities because of our neglect, or apathy, or stinginess. It was we that should be blamed for.

With the great shock I had experienced, I dedicated myself to the charity club. Suddenly, taking credit for solving the financial crisis or shaking hands with Mahmoud Abbas and Benjamin Netanyahu seemed less important to me than just gathering donated books for Wenhua School. What we are most concerned with is not how much the press praises us for our successfully holding "Run with me" in Bird Nest, but how we can use the money we raise and attention we get to help the children in Wenhua school get the equipment and care they need.

And on a personal level, working with my partner, a young Qinghai girl from a single-parent family who dreams of attending college, has turned to be more that a beneficent act. I have realized my value here as I help her prepare for final exams, or accompany her to the Capital Library for advanced reading. And her fulfillment on study is the best reward for me---it verifies me that I can change something with my own efforts. While at the same time, I even could not tell who the "benefactor" was and who the "beneficiary". Most I could provide her are of material levels. In return, however, she passes me the most precious things---her persistence to dream, diligence, and fighting against fate. To a great extent, she is richer than me, and I'm the one who has benefited most.

Perhaps I've still not achieved my goal of accomplishing "big things," but I realized that I could start with "little things" which others disdain to do. If nobody else takes the seemingly minor aspects of society to heart, then I would. It now becomes my tenet that "big things" and "little things" take different paths to the same goal, and that little changes can sometimes contribute more to "a better world". I'll prove it to the world. I WILL.