Posts by C02091937

C02091937

Aug 30, 2010

Undergraduate / Proud of my ethnicity ("a proud Filipino") - UCF essays [3]

2.
you said that no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes, instead of saying something like that talk about how you fix your mistakes and overcome imperfection.

Always embellish the resolution more than the problem.

In the second to last sentence fix the order to, "have them to fall back on."

4.
Don't call the Florida heat bipolar, use fluctuating or unpredictable (nice personification though).

I learned discipline, moral , became part of a second family, and learned from my mistakes.

change this to morality or character

I learned discipline, moral, became part of a second family, and learned from my mistakes.

Make these two into two new sentences; something like, "I also made new friends who later became part of a second family. This team also taught me to learn from my mistakes and correct my flaws quickly and efficiently."

Remember, don't be afraid to exaggerate your abilities slightly just not too much.

C02091937

Aug 30, 2010

Undergraduate / "swimming is so much more than a sport", Common App - 150 words or less answer [9]

You definitely have a nag for writing, but when some one has a large amount of short answer questions they are stressing "short" one word over will probably be fine but if all of your answers are over the limit the examiner might start to not like you. The more they like you the better you do.

If you really feel that the end is lacking than take it out and include something about learning from your coach and how you can be a good listener and follower; but also include something about leading others.

Always stress leading more than following or participating.

C02091937

Aug 30, 2010

Undergraduate / My interest in business, Common App Essay comparison between the two [5]

The title depends on what colleges you're applying to, you may even want to use a different title or no title at all for each college or scholarship.

Also depending on the colleges and the type of essay they are asking for, writing in the first person may not be so smart.

I'd suggest working on the first one and submitting it.

The colleges you apply to will ask for your ethnic background so you don't need to stress it at all.

C02091937

Aug 30, 2010

Undergraduate / USMA app essay, why do you want to attend USMA and become an active duty officer [3]

The United States Military Academy is a very prestigious school that offers many job opportunities and career options after graduating no matter what one's major is. It would be an honor to graduate from the United States Military Academy and become an Active duty Army officer. The full time staff and the like minded peer group are very attractive aspects of the academy. I excel when I have teachers who will be glad to answer any academic questions before or after class. I do very well in critical environments such as the military, I learned this when I went on a trip to Camp Lejeune and went through a Marine trainee experience. I am a very fast learner who adapts to different situations quickly and effectively as shown in my experience with a Sport Pilot certificate and numerous childhood sports. I am a very tentative student and will do my best with the intellectual and athletic peers one will find at the academy. Once graduated, I hope to become a pilot (fixed wing or rotary), which will easily be accommodated by the Army, more so than most of the other services. I have learned strong leadership traits from training and leading Alter Servers at St. Joseph's Catholic Church but I am a good follower as well. I have learned to take orders and criticism in a composed manner and never talk back from living in a military family. I really want to be part of something bigger, such as the United States Army as an active duty officer.