jnnystvns
Sep 29, 2010
jnnystvns
Sep 29, 2010
Undergraduate / "experiences with Autism" - UF essay [4]
PROMPT:
In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.
ESSAY:
I watched her as she bounced around the room. She was carefree, innocent, and excited about each new thing being presented to her. I was a leader at a week long bible study camp at my church, and the experience of looking after Rebecca, a little girl with special needs, changed my life. A third grader, whose ideas about the future didn't extend past the next thirty minutes, made me realize what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.
Undoubtedly, she was a handful. I didn't have experience caring for a child with autism. But when I got past my own hesitations, I really began to enjoy Rebecca's company. During this week my responsibility was to watch over the third graders as they took a break from the excitement of skits and outdoor games to watch a movie and calm down. Any parent probably knows calming down a third grader isn't exactly a piece of cake, especially one who has a hard time controlling her own behavior. I learned how to better connect with Rebecca, and because of her my ability to bond with other kids improved as well. Toward the end of the week, she looked up at me and told me I was her best friend. This was the moment that I understood what I had done for her, and for me. I hadn't passed the responsibility of looking after her off to someone else, like many other leaders had done. Instead I was a stable figure for Rebecca, and she appreciated our relationship.
Becoming a teacher was never something I previously dreamed of. After realizing that my actions can help shape a child's life, I knew it was my destiny. My call to service came from Rebecca, when she looked at me that day and told me I meant something to her. Thinking about how Rebecca must feel at school will affect my college experience. Now that I look back, I had been taking advantage of my ability to succeed in school. I can learn to provide a lifelong education to those who excel in class but more importantly, to the ones who fade into the background. Rebecca taught me to be selfless and look out for the needs of others before my own. That quality will help me contribute to the University of Florida's campus community. I am determined to be the teacher that students will remember long into their old age, the one teacher that was a symbol of stability, responsibility and safety. I never thought the "babysitting" aspect of that week would be a life changing experience. That little, free spirited girl showed me that I am capable of making a difference in the lives of kids everywhere.
PROMPT:
In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.
ESSAY:
I watched her as she bounced around the room. She was carefree, innocent, and excited about each new thing being presented to her. I was a leader at a week long bible study camp at my church, and the experience of looking after Rebecca, a little girl with special needs, changed my life. A third grader, whose ideas about the future didn't extend past the next thirty minutes, made me realize what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.
Undoubtedly, she was a handful. I didn't have experience caring for a child with autism. But when I got past my own hesitations, I really began to enjoy Rebecca's company. During this week my responsibility was to watch over the third graders as they took a break from the excitement of skits and outdoor games to watch a movie and calm down. Any parent probably knows calming down a third grader isn't exactly a piece of cake, especially one who has a hard time controlling her own behavior. I learned how to better connect with Rebecca, and because of her my ability to bond with other kids improved as well. Toward the end of the week, she looked up at me and told me I was her best friend. This was the moment that I understood what I had done for her, and for me. I hadn't passed the responsibility of looking after her off to someone else, like many other leaders had done. Instead I was a stable figure for Rebecca, and she appreciated our relationship.
Becoming a teacher was never something I previously dreamed of. After realizing that my actions can help shape a child's life, I knew it was my destiny. My call to service came from Rebecca, when she looked at me that day and told me I meant something to her. Thinking about how Rebecca must feel at school will affect my college experience. Now that I look back, I had been taking advantage of my ability to succeed in school. I can learn to provide a lifelong education to those who excel in class but more importantly, to the ones who fade into the background. Rebecca taught me to be selfless and look out for the needs of others before my own. That quality will help me contribute to the University of Florida's campus community. I am determined to be the teacher that students will remember long into their old age, the one teacher that was a symbol of stability, responsibility and safety. I never thought the "babysitting" aspect of that week would be a life changing experience. That little, free spirited girl showed me that I am capable of making a difference in the lives of kids everywhere.
jnnystvns
Sep 29, 2010
Undergraduate / Junior Encounter: personal narrative for freshman in college [4]
Check your grammar, a few sentences seem choppy and incomplete. Re-read with fresh eyes there are a few word mistakes, like "along" in the first paragraph instead of "alone". but over all it's very good!
Check your grammar, a few sentences seem choppy and incomplete. Re-read with fresh eyes there are a few word mistakes, like "along" in the first paragraph instead of "alone". but over all it's very good!
jnnystvns
Sep 10, 2010
Undergraduate / "the guiding philosophy behind my life" - vires artes mores- essay [6]
thanks so much again! your comments are extremely helpful. i revamped my whole essay and focused only on character and i'm proud of the outcome!! thankyou!!
thanks so much again! your comments are extremely helpful. i revamped my whole essay and focused only on character and i'm proud of the outcome!! thankyou!!
jnnystvns
Sep 7, 2010
Undergraduate / "the guiding philosophy behind my life" - vires artes mores- essay [6]
The essay is an important part of your application. It assists the University in learning about you as an individual, independent of your academic grade point average, test scores, and other objective data. Your essay should be no longer than 500 words.
- The Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.
here is my essay:
Right now I'm just another name in a stack of papers. This is my chance to show who I am, aside from my grades. I'm unique in character, strong, morally sound, and always reaching to meet the standards I set for myself.
Most people wouldn't see strength in a story about not making the team. In my junior year of high school I signed up for flag football. Before tryouts, the team did conditioning after school. Knowing I lack in the athleticism department, I pushed myself to improve, and to show the coach I have what it takes. So much so that I ended up pulling muscles I didn't even know I had. A week later, I hobbled to tryouts and gave it my all. Some would anticipate disappointment, but all I could think was, "So what if I didn't make the team?" I surpassed my own expectations, injuries and all. It took serious physical strength to tryout that day (and to walk afterwards). I also reflect intellectual strength. I've never been one to settle for mediocrity or accept the easy way out. All throughout high school I chose classes that were challenging and would take me out of my comfort zone. Finally, I stand up for my beliefs everyday at school, and it takes a large amount of moral strength. I can face temptation and peer pressure with more strength, because of my foundation in God. It's easier for me to turn down drugs, alcohol, or anything else that will take away from my potential, because of the strength my faith gives me.
The kind of character I reflect to others is important to me. I set very high standards and I hate disappointing myself, my family or my friends. I've always tried to be someone that is dependable and trustworthy. Even as a kid, I'd tell on myself because lying to my parents just wasn't an option. After my first kiss, I went home crying and told my mom about it because I thought I'd done something wrong. To this day, I still get teased. As cliché as it sounds, honesty really is the best policy; I always do my best to live up to that saying.
I chase after skill and knowledge because I want to be the best person I can possibly be. I can't think of anything more rewarding than being able to demonstrate what I'm capable of through what I have given rise to. That's why I've always loved art classes. Making a painting, or piece of jewelry was rewarding, I got to see my skill and hard work displayed in a beautiful way.
Hopefully now I'm no longer just a name to you. I'm a unique story of strength, skill, and character. My life reflects a special blend of values that contribute to the person I am. I am proud to say that Vires, Artes, and Mores and the values that contribute to this philosophy are reflected in my life.
The essay is an important part of your application. It assists the University in learning about you as an individual, independent of your academic grade point average, test scores, and other objective data. Your essay should be no longer than 500 words.
- The Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.
here is my essay:
Right now I'm just another name in a stack of papers. This is my chance to show who I am, aside from my grades. I'm unique in character, strong, morally sound, and always reaching to meet the standards I set for myself.
Most people wouldn't see strength in a story about not making the team. In my junior year of high school I signed up for flag football. Before tryouts, the team did conditioning after school. Knowing I lack in the athleticism department, I pushed myself to improve, and to show the coach I have what it takes. So much so that I ended up pulling muscles I didn't even know I had. A week later, I hobbled to tryouts and gave it my all. Some would anticipate disappointment, but all I could think was, "So what if I didn't make the team?" I surpassed my own expectations, injuries and all. It took serious physical strength to tryout that day (and to walk afterwards). I also reflect intellectual strength. I've never been one to settle for mediocrity or accept the easy way out. All throughout high school I chose classes that were challenging and would take me out of my comfort zone. Finally, I stand up for my beliefs everyday at school, and it takes a large amount of moral strength. I can face temptation and peer pressure with more strength, because of my foundation in God. It's easier for me to turn down drugs, alcohol, or anything else that will take away from my potential, because of the strength my faith gives me.
The kind of character I reflect to others is important to me. I set very high standards and I hate disappointing myself, my family or my friends. I've always tried to be someone that is dependable and trustworthy. Even as a kid, I'd tell on myself because lying to my parents just wasn't an option. After my first kiss, I went home crying and told my mom about it because I thought I'd done something wrong. To this day, I still get teased. As cliché as it sounds, honesty really is the best policy; I always do my best to live up to that saying.
I chase after skill and knowledge because I want to be the best person I can possibly be. I can't think of anything more rewarding than being able to demonstrate what I'm capable of through what I have given rise to. That's why I've always loved art classes. Making a painting, or piece of jewelry was rewarding, I got to see my skill and hard work displayed in a beautiful way.
Hopefully now I'm no longer just a name to you. I'm a unique story of strength, skill, and character. My life reflects a special blend of values that contribute to the person I am. I am proud to say that Vires, Artes, and Mores and the values that contribute to this philosophy are reflected in my life.
