crazzycarrottop
Sep 12, 2010
Undergraduate / Vires, Artes, Mores. Overcoming shortcomings to be a stronger person. [6]
My dad's death has impacted me like nothing else will. It has made me stronger in so many ways. I matured faster than my peers, learned the importance of family, and motivates me to put 100 percent into everything I do.
The last sentece doesnt make alot of sense so i would change this section to say something more like:
My dad's death has impacted me like nothing else will, it has made me stronger in many ways. First of all, I matured faster than my peers, I have really learned the importance of family and it has motivated me to put 100 percent into everything I do.
also, im not a grammar person so i cannot tell you if its correct or not, but i didn't sound bad at all to me.
I think the over all tone of your essay is strong! goood job
My dad's death has impacted me like nothing else will. It has made me stronger in so many ways. I matured faster than my peers, learned the importance of family, and motivates me to put 100 percent into everything I do.
The last sentece doesnt make alot of sense so i would change this section to say something more like:
My dad's death has impacted me like nothing else will, it has made me stronger in many ways. First of all, I matured faster than my peers, I have really learned the importance of family and it has motivated me to put 100 percent into everything I do.
also, im not a grammar person so i cannot tell you if its correct or not, but i didn't sound bad at all to me.
I think the over all tone of your essay is strong! goood job