Writing Feedback / TOEFL: Artists have the capability of soothing the minds of the people. [3]

Hi,
Please help me with my toefl essay writing. Your feedback on this essay is highly appreciated.

QUESTION; It is generally agreed that society benefits from the work of its members. Compare the contributions of artists to society with the contributions of scientists to society. Which type of contribution do you think is valued more by your society? Give specific reasons to support your answer.

Both artists and scientists contribute largely to the development of any society. However their contributions are different in the way that they impact on the society. While artists address to the emotional feelings of the mankind, the scientists contribute largely towards their physical requirements. Therefore, the contributions made by artists and scientists need to be valued equally if we looks forward to achieving a developed society.

Artists have the capability of soothing the minds of the people. This is a very important aspect that enables people to relax and calm down, especially in their fast life styles. For example, when I drive home after strenuous hours in office, I usually play my stereo set up in the car, to listen to the songs of my favorite singer. These songs relax me before I reach home and I enter home with a fresh mind. Therefore the contribution that artists make to their society cannot be undermined for any reason.

Scientists in contrast to the artists, help develop the quality of life of members in the society. If not for the scientists we would have not had electricity or many other technologically advanced appliances to handle our daily chores. For example, a working mother is much revealed from the assistance given to her by the microwave oven in cooking. Therefore the scientists should be encouraged in their inventions in order to receive their contribution towards a technologically advanced society that enables people to upgrade the quality of life in terms of convenience, efficiency and reliability.

In our society, it is noted that contributions of both artists and scientists are equally recognized. The best example is that the country's most distinguished award for the year, "Uttamachara". This award is granted on annual basis to the most outstanding personalities of the fields of art and science. It is happy to acknowledge that the people of our society admire the valuable contributions of both science and art without any discrimination.

Finally, the world needs the contribution of both artists and scientists to make it a better place for the mankind to live. Therefore people should respect and regard both artists and scientists equally for their contributions and consider them as valuable assets to their society. However, it is happy to note that the society I am living in, acknowledges this fact.

Writing Feedback / Toefl; History/Literature vs Maths/ Science [3]

Hi,
Glad to have your feedback!

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for students to study history and literature than it is for them to study science and mathematics. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

I do not agree that studying history or literature is more important than studying mathematics or science. It is true that history is an important subject for the people to learn lessons from the past, which would help correct present and future mistakes. In the same manner literature too helps develop the human cultures that are very essential contributors to make the world a better place. However, science and mathematics too are very important subjects that had helped improve the quality of the lives of the people. Therefore the importance of mathematics and literature cannot be considered as inferior, in contrast to the importance of history or literature.

Writing Feedback / The teachers should be adequately compensated for their hard labor, skills, commitment and sacrifice [3]

Hi,
I'm preparing for Toefl independent writing task. Therefore it's a great help if you could give me a feedback on this essay.
Thanks

Question; Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Personally, I do not agree with the statement that teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. There are two reasons why I believe this system is unfair by the teachers and also it lacks logical reasoning;

First and foremost, the students differ in their interest, capacity, potential and maturity. The teachers can certainly influence them to improve most of them, especially their interest in the subject. However, it is very difficult to do much about one's in-born capabilities. For example, some students are born intelligent and they outperform other students. Therefore they are faster in understanding new concepts, theories and formulas compared to most of their fellow students. It is not the quality of teaching that matters a lot in their learning capacity, but it is their own talents. In this scenario, if the teacher is paid according to the volume of student's learning, then he or she would be a very lucky teacher. On the other hand, consider a student who is much below in capacity of an average student of his/her age. This student would require a longer period of time to grasp what is taught and also would be much slower in producing results, even he/she is in the hands of the best teacher on the earth. This is why I believe that this system does not provide any logical reasoning while offering an unfair solution to compensate teachers for their valuable service.

In addition, teaching is a very respectable and highly regarded profession by which many people earn their living. Therefore, the teachers should be adequately compensated for their hard labor, skills, commitment and sacrifice. In my country the teachers are considered as one's second parents who too are eagerly looking forward to making a brighter future for their students. According to our culture,teaching is a great service, and not a mere profession. It extends beyond the class room limits and teachers develop strong personal relationships with their students that help them influence the moral of their students. If a teacher is going to be evaluated and paid according to the student's capacity of learning, then this profession would loose its respect and dignity while taking a more commercialized approach. This would adversely affect the moral values of the teaching profession while introducing more materialistic approach to this profession.

Finally, I believe it is not necessary to attach the teacher's payment to the student's learning capacity because, any way, the good teachers do always earn recognition and are in better demand compared to their less effective peers.

The above reasons have led me to conclude that teachers should not be paid according to how much their students learn.

Writing Feedback / In my view studying in a group is a better method than studying on your own. [10]

Hi,
Kindly give me a feed back on my following essay. I'm preparing to take up Toefl;

Some students prefer to study alone. Others prefer to study with a group of students. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In my view studying in a group is a better method than studying on your own. Even many research studies have proved that students who engage in group study perform better in both class performance and at the exams. Studying on your own is effective when you have to memorize facts. However as you grow, especially in the secondary and tertiary levels of education, the learning process would become more advanced and complicated. At these stages, it would not be just memorizing facts, but would also involve the understanding of more complicated concepts, theories and formulas while analyzing and solving problems. Such situations often demand a student to seek assistance of others.

The members of the study group are often a source of encouragement to a student when his or her motivation starts to decline. Also in a group environment, students are less likely to procrastinate for the fear of letting down the group; you are prompted to be prepared when the group meets to discuss. This is a major advantage in group study that encourages you to be well organized and prepared for the examinations. Group study also trains the students to stick to the task with respect to the study agenda.

As the old saying, "Two heads are better than one head", the group discussions enable students to gather valuable ideas of other members which they have never considered before. This helps students to broaden their perspectives on subjects. Also group members work collaboratively to solve problems that would exert synergy to handle the task. For example, a complicated analysis can be handled more effectively by four students with their collaborative ideas, in contrast to the effort of a single student.

In group discussions, only one student can talk at a time and others should actively listen. This adds a strong auditory dimension to one's learning experience that promotes him to develop sound study habits. These discussions also promote students to respect ideas of each other that would help develop their discipline in team behavior.

Group studies also encourage students to explain their views and ideas aloud. This helps students, especially the ones who have more introvert characteristics, develop their ability to talk to audiences. Also by listening and speaking to others, students often improve their recall ability and would be able to recall facts better at the exams.

Further, the students often get the opportunity to teach other members when they study in a group. This is a win-win situation which helps one student to reinforce his mastery on the topic while other students would learn it with his help. Also students would be able to cover the gaps such as missed lectures or notes. They can also share the material such as past papers, assignments etc. It also helps students to be more socialized while clearing one's fears and ambiguities by the positive attitude of the group such as "we can do it together". After all studying in a group is more enjoyable and not boring.

However it is important that all the members of the group share the common goal of achieving success and stay to the agenda without being distracted. They should respect each other and also should not try to dominate the group. Provided these conditions are satisfied, I conclude that studying in a group is much more effective and advantageous than self studying.