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Posts by keberg1
Joined: Sep 14, 2010
Last Post: Sep 14, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  

From: United States of America

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keberg1   
Sep 14, 2010
Writing Feedback / Learning from books or from experience ? What is your opinion? [9]

Im assuming the promt for this essay is something like: Is more knowledge gained from reading books or from personal experience?

Your first paragraph seems to jump around between the idea of books and experience. You may want to have you first paragraph focus on books, and the arguments for and against them. Then in your second paragraph, focus on experiences, and reasons why they shape knowledge better that books do.

A couple sentences run on a bit to long such as: I practiced with friends many times but still felt the grammar was difficult. But once I started working, I used those words everyday to communicate with my clients, and to talk with my boss, so it was easier for me to remember. Try to break this up in a way that makes it easier to understand.

I also think you should add a little bit to you concluding paragraph. Its only two sentences long and should tie together all the information that you presented in you essay, and give the reader a final solid basis for your reasoning.
keberg1   
Sep 14, 2010
Graduate / 'Physical Therapy more competitive' - : PTCAS Admission Essay for DPT Program [3]

This essay comes from the Physical Therapy Centralized Application Services website for admission into a Doctor of Physical Therapy Program.

The promt reads: Which personal characteristics and motivating factors have led you to pursue the profession of physical therapy?

At this point, the essay is pretty rough, but I feel like I have some good ideas going. I would very much appreciate some thoughts or ideas as to how to make the opening sentence flow into the rest of the essay, as well as some possible changes throughout the essay. Thanks in advance for any comments!

All across the country, physical therapy programs are becoming more and more competitive, and the most qualified and dedicated individuals are being selected to enter. I can recall, all the way back in the 3rd grade, listening to fellow classmates parents as they spoke to us briefly about their personal careers, and how important it was to try your best in order to succeed in school. Being an athlete and sports fan my entire life, I specifically remember listening to one girl's father who worked in sports medicine/athletic training. He talked about how much he enjoyed his career because he loved sports and enjoyed being around the athletes and helping them recover from injuries so they could regain mobility and continue to play. It was from this point on that I was positive I wanted to be in the medical field, specifically in a rehabilitation setting. Returning home from school that night, I told my parents what I wanted to be when I grew up, and can remember how proud they were of my lofty goal. Being raised in a catholic family and attending a private catholic school for much of my childhood, I quickly learned the importance of being humble, forgiving, self-disciplined, honest, and the hard work needed to achieve excellence. A framed quote I grew up with in my room and have since taken with me to college reads, "Hard work is painful when life is devoid of purpose. But when you live for something greater than yourself and the gratification of your own ego, then hard work becomes a labor of love."

It was during my junior year in high school that I solidified my interest in becoming a physical therapist, unfortunately due to undesirable circumstances. I suffered from a torn ACL during the high school football season, and had to undergo surgery and go through physical therapy myself. The thing that really stuck out for me when receiving my treatment was the extended one-on-one time that physical therapists spend with their patients. I can only remember seeing my surgeon a few times during the whole process, which made it difficult to establish a relationship and high level of trust with the doctor. The extended time physical therapists spend with their patients allows them to directly monitor their patients' progress and establish a sort of direct relationship with their patients. It also allows the patient to develop a trust with their therapist.

During my years in college, I have developed a love for understanding the human body, and the very intricate but delicate way in which everything works in synchrony....
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