Posts by BlackCanary

BlackCanary

Sep 18, 2010

Writing Feedback / My shoulder and my friend - journal writing [3]

I am not great at correcting grammar but I do have a suggestion. The introduction sounds slightly off. In the first sentence '...appropriately operated' sounds awkward to me so I would change it to something like this:

I have not fully recovered from the incident yesterday. When I attempt to reach for an item, I feel a nasty pain in my shoulder.

BlackCanary

Sep 18, 2010

Undergraduate / Questions about writing an essay on 'someone who has made an impact on your life' [3]

Topic: Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

I chose to write this essay over my mother and describe how she has shown me the importance of customs in our culture. I also wanted explain how she has modeled how to be successful in life through hard work. Does this fit within the limits of the topic? Or am I drifting into another topic- like diversity? If so, is that ok? Should I pick only one thing I have learned fromed her?

Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.