Posts by jgliwa

jgliwa

Oct 4, 2010

Undergraduate / "To make my dreams come true" - Essay on FSU admissions on Vires, Artes and Mores [4]

I think first and foremost this essay could use a good proofread. There are several mistakes like physically instead of physical, strengthen instead of strength, an instead in, to name a few.

The only big problem i see is that you mentioned the philosophy, "vires, artes, mores," however, you only elaborated on vires and mores. I would add in the third and then re-post your essay.

- James

jgliwa

Sep 22, 2010

Undergraduate / Arts and Sciences and Engineering: "I don't know" - JHU supplement [10]

Sure, i would love all the help i can get. I am just having trouble writing a convincing essay about applying undecided. I guess i could just pick one aspect of engineering but then i would have to write a completely different essay.

I know my writing is not the greatest so i thank you again for your time and consideration.

I thought about choosing mechanical engineering and writing about that and incorporate da vinci and his works because his work was one of my first inspirations, but I am just playing with ideas here. Choosing an actual major wouldn't be too much of a hassle i would just have to go change my application a bit.

Anything and everything helps

-james

jgliwa

Sep 22, 2010

Undergraduate / Arts and Sciences and Engineering: "I don't know" - JHU supplement [10]

Your comments are very helpful. I am trying to re-work the intro now and add more feeling to the other part of the essay.

The only problem is that i am applying to the engineering school undecided rather than the university so i'm not sure if i should name a specific type of engineering as one of the things i want to master in life.

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

-james

jgliwa

Sep 19, 2010

Undergraduate / Arts and Sciences and Engineering: "I don't know" - JHU supplement [10]

thanks for your insight...

i am definitely more content with my opening paragraph and second paragraph now. I agree the last two paragraphs need more work. I'll keep working on it.

thanks again

-james

jgliwa

Sep 19, 2010

Undergraduate / Arts and Sciences and Engineering: "I don't know" - JHU supplement [10]

I redid a lot of the essay because of your comments. It was a first draft and your points were very helpful...

I wrote this fairly quick and as always please revise and be as critical as possible. I think this one has a more accurate interpretation of what i was trying to say but i still need your views in case i miss the boat again...

Ten years ago, if you were to ask me what I wanted to be I would've said a professional baseball player. Five years ago, a pilot. Two years ago, an artist. And last year, an architect. Some call it being indecisive; I call it having an open mind, always willing to embrace change.

There is no one thing that can define me as a person so I feel no need to label myself under one major just yet. I look forward to an open curriculum allowing myself to delve into other interests outside of the ordinary classroom. I look forward to displaying my talents in other areas from Italian to Greek mythology, never letting my mind be closed to outside influence. To enriching my knowledge beyond specific courses and to truly find what it is I want.

Above all, I want to help others. I believe that engineers have the ability to accomplish anything. For every problem an engineer solves there is no telling to how many people were actually affected and how many lives bettered.

Johns Hopkins is perfect for me, not only because of its engineering excellence, but also because of its quality over vast studies. Knowing myself and my interests in a broad range of topics only makes my decision harder and one that is almost cruel; however, in Johns Hopkins, I know that whatever choice I do make, I will be receiving a first-rate education and be able to keep an open mind.

thanks

jgliwa

Sep 19, 2010

Undergraduate / Arts and Sciences and Engineering: "I don't know" - JHU supplement [10]

Write a brief essay (250 words maximum each question) in which you respond to the following questions. (Freshman applicants only):

1. Johns Hopkins offers 50 majors across the schools of Arts and Sciences and Engineering. On this application, we ask you to identify one or two that you might like to pursue here. Why did you choose the way you did? If you are undecided, why didn't you choose? (If any past courses or academic experience influenced your decision, you may include them in your essay.)

I don't know. I don't know what I want to do. I don't know who I want to be. What I do know is that I was never one to sit behind a desk and do the same menial tasks day after day. The idea of being just another employee, just another statistic, is simply not an option for me.

To me, choosing a choice of study was not about how much potential money could be earned or what sounds like the most fun, but rather in which can I make the greatest difference. I love to draw, I like to design, I have a passion for planes and the idea of flight, and, admittedly, I spend hours playing video games with my friends. Yet I could not see myself ever pursuing one of my many interests as a major. I want to help people. With an engineering degree the possibilities to improving other's lives are endless. For every problem an engineer solves there is no telling to how many people were actually affected and how many lives bettered.

As an undergraduate engineering undecided applicant I am hesitant and timid to make a finite decision on what it is within engineering I want to study. I chose Johns Hopkins not only because of its engineering excellence but also because of its quality over vast studies. Knowing myself that I have interests in a broad range of topics only makes my decision harder and one that is almost cruel; however, in Johns Hopkins, I know that whatever choice I do make, I will be receiving a first-rate education.