LuckyStephy13
Sep 21, 2010
Undergraduate / "Visiting a friend whom I had never met before" -The biggest risk I have taken/learnt [3]
I'm writing an essay for a college application. The topic is to write about the biggest risk I have taken and what I have learned from it. If I could get some help checking the grammar, that'd be great. I also wanting to know if maybe I explained the situation too much and didn't give enough of the end result I feel like something is missing. Thanks forthe help!
There is one risk that is prominent in my mind above the rest. In the summer of 2008, I made a trip that shocked my parents and surprised even myself. I went to visit a friend whom I had never met before in Columbus, Ohio. I had never flown on an airplane before and I was travelling to an area which was totally unknown to me. Above all, I was visiting a male friend whom I, as I said before, had never had face to face contact with. We had spoken over many years and finally arranged a meeting. I knew my parents would be strongly against this trip, but I felt like it was the right decision and booked the tickets in advance. My parents were furious when I mustered the courage to tell them of my plans. They forbade me from traveling and vowed to take everything they could away from me. However, I had made up my mind and was focused on going.
I took a giant leap of faith by willingly stepping out of my comfort zone to achieve my independence. Through my experiences on this trip I learned various life lessons. I learned how to stand on my own two feet and not rely on my parents for everything. I also learned that sometimes taking a risk is what it takes to achieve your goals in life. I'm not afraid to take chances anymore, my philosophy has changed greatly. With hard work and dedication, anything is possible.
I'm writing an essay for a college application. The topic is to write about the biggest risk I have taken and what I have learned from it. If I could get some help checking the grammar, that'd be great. I also wanting to know if maybe I explained the situation too much and didn't give enough of the end result I feel like something is missing. Thanks forthe help!
There is one risk that is prominent in my mind above the rest. In the summer of 2008, I made a trip that shocked my parents and surprised even myself. I went to visit a friend whom I had never met before in Columbus, Ohio. I had never flown on an airplane before and I was travelling to an area which was totally unknown to me. Above all, I was visiting a male friend whom I, as I said before, had never had face to face contact with. We had spoken over many years and finally arranged a meeting. I knew my parents would be strongly against this trip, but I felt like it was the right decision and booked the tickets in advance. My parents were furious when I mustered the courage to tell them of my plans. They forbade me from traveling and vowed to take everything they could away from me. However, I had made up my mind and was focused on going.
I took a giant leap of faith by willingly stepping out of my comfort zone to achieve my independence. Through my experiences on this trip I learned various life lessons. I learned how to stand on my own two feet and not rely on my parents for everything. I also learned that sometimes taking a risk is what it takes to achieve your goals in life. I'm not afraid to take chances anymore, my philosophy has changed greatly. With hard work and dedication, anything is possible.
