Undergraduate / Football, leadership, spirituality - help with grammar. [2]

TO EF_SUSAN:
I did not know how to private message you, so Im writing here, hopefully thats okay. Thank You so much, I really do appreciate it! It was a tremendous amount of help.

#4
I wish to continue my education in college, and be at the top. Education is very important to me, because I have seen and experienced the struggles of other people. My father immigrated to the US from South Korea with my mother in his senior year of high school. Not knowing a single word of English, he had a very hard time succeeding in school and excelling in his studies. He was laid off about two summers ago, and ever since then, it has been hard for him to obtain a job; he lacked the education and degree. My father has always told me that the key to success is education. My short term goal is to achieve many scholarships as possible, so I may be able to go to college. Both parents lack the ability to speak and write proper English, so it is very hard for them to progress forward or provide me with an abundant amount of financial aid for college through their occupation. My main priority as of right now, is to obtain the money for college, so I may be able to continue my educational studies. My long term goal, is to enter graduate school, so I can become a Physical Therapist, and work in the field that I have a passion for. I wish that through my academic records, I may be able to help my parents financially and succeed in the future, helping others regain their physical abilities. I hope to stay at the top, and put in a hundred times amount of effort as I did in high school. To make my parents proud, my siblings proud, and most importantly, be proud of myself.

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Discuss a leadership experience you have had in any area of your life - school, work, athletics, family, church, community, etc. How and why did you become a leader in this area? How did this experience influence your goals?

#5
I am involved in many leadership activities and programs, such as my high school football team, my church's youth group, PALs (Peer Assistance Leadership), and volunteer programs; one event where I contributed most of my leadership skills was in a volunteer program called Wilderness School this past summer. My grandmother attends a separate church where our family goes, and this church is less developed than my church. My grandmother knows that I am involved in many programs where I help lead my church's youth group and the children of the church. She requested that I come and help a children program that will be hosted in her Church. I was in charge of leading praise and worship, bible study, and lock-ins. The program was 3 weeks long and consisted of praise,bible study, and reading/science comprehension, for Kinder - 5th grade. I was one of the older volunteers, so the pastor requested me with many task where I had a lot more responsibilities on my shoulders. We would start the day with praise, next bible study, then finish the day with reading/science comprehension. We didn't have as much volunteers, where an adult would lead the program, so I ended up taking many of the higher roles. Every Friday, the kids would come in the afternoon, and I would have to prepare games and activities for the lock-in. I was put in charge of the kids who came; the extra volunteers and I had to make sure they were safe, fed, and put to sleep before the next morning. It was very difficult at times controlling the vast amount children, but in the end they had fun and learned a lot of new information for the next school year. I felt like the program was a success, because I would hear a lot of positive comments from the parents and all the kids were looking forward to next year. I also learned how to cooperate with groups of kids that were all sorts of different ages; the program taught me how to adjust my self in different environments and act accordingly to the diversities around me. This experience put my leadership skills to the test, and I have learned that I still need to grow in this area. The positive side has influenced me to keep striving, but the negative side has also influenced me to become a more successful leader. I know I will face many adversities and tribulations, as I come closer to reaching my goals in college, but I feel more prepared and ready to push through whatever comes my way.

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Discuss your involvement in and contributions to a community near your home, school or elsewhere. Please select an experience different from the one you discussed in the previous question, even if this experience also involved leadership. What did you accomplish? How did this experience influence your goals?

#6
I became a part of the leadership program in my church's youth group when I entered as a freshmen in High School. This leadership program in the youth group was created when my sister became a sophomore in high school. Being in the children program of my church, I could not wait until I finally entered middle school, so that I may be able to join the youth group and do all the activities they operated. As I finally entered as a 6th grader in the youth group, looking at my sister carry out her leadership roles in the youth group amazed me. She worked hard, guided the youth group, and diligently became a servant for our needs. Soon, my sister would leave the youth group and join the upper class college group, and some one needed to step up; the teachers of my youth group chose me. Ever since I entered high school, I have been a leader for my youth group and served the church. I gradually began to love my youth members, and participated in every way possible, so that I was I able to spend endless times with them. As a leader, my duties were to plan events, lead retreats and mission trips, and guide the youth group into the direction of the church. I would carry out other higher roles, like becoming the leader for the praise team and hospitality team. Every Saturday, the praise band would meet and practice for the next day's worship. I would lead the practice and instruct my praise members musically and spiritually.Also as the leader for the hospitality team, it was my duty to unite the youth group into one body. Our team would also meet on Saturdays, making welcome cards, birthday cards, and writing encouragement letters to the ones who would felt as if they were not a part of the family. The Korean churches of the Austin community, would gather all the youth group for a time of fellowship, and the leaders of the youth group would meet and have organize/manage the events; as a leader of my youth group, I was able to meet other leaders around the Austin community that served the same role as me, and learn from their perspectives. Through this leadership program, I have experienced many significant roles of a leader. I learned that leadership is not always about the one guiding the group or yelling out instructions, but leadership is an act of sacrifice; a position of servitude. I gained the respect of my fellow youth members, teachers, and parents. I learned the actions of humility and humbleness, and I also created a new vision inside of me. I know in the future, that I will be leading a larger set of people than my youth group; which consisted about 50 young kids looking up to me as a role model. I hope that through the experiences and adversities I have faced, that I am able to successfully lead other followers into the right direction, whatever the purpose it may be. My position at the church has influenced me to approach my short-term and long-term goals the right way. With a positive mind set and a confident will, I hope to gain the respect of my future classmates and teachers in college. Just as I have worked hard to gain the respect and love from my youth group, my goal is to succeed in my educational studies while being able to practice my leadership skill around my new environment.

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Other than through classes in school, in what areas (non-academic or academic) have you acquired knowledge or skills? How?

#7
As a Varsity Football player, I have gained a huge amount of knowledge and life skills through the past years of playing football. This sport is more than just athletic based skills and hitting other players for fun, it teaches one how to be under self control. I live two different kind of lives, a life of an athlete and the life of an honor student. Very rarely do other students experience the position I am in. Most are only focused on excelling in athletics or excelling in their academic studies, but I have had a chance to experience them both. I am the only player on my team who have shown academic excellence, but I am also the only student that participate in the Varsity Football among my "intellectual friends". Our football program is based upon three characteristics: Character, Discipline, and Commitment. Over the past few years, I have been able to build my character, practice my discipline, and train my commitment. When no one is watching me, what will I be doing in the dark? When times are tough and things aren't going my way, will I complain and gripe to my peers? Will I be able to gain trust and respect through my attitude and commitment? . It has been a very rough ride balancing my academic studies with football, while maintaining the position in my school, but in return I was able to find the answer for each of those three questions. My parents have pressured me that I must stay on top of my grades and excel in my studies, almost to the point where I wanted to quit football and just focus on my school work; but staying in football taught me how to persevere...to never give up. My high school experience will never be regretful, the only thing I would ever regret was if I had quitted football. My mentality of life would be totally different, and I would probably have lost all the knowledge I have obtained from my football team. I learned how to be a family, a team, and work as one body. I know that in the future, I will face many adversities just like I have in football. A bruise on my shoulder, a sprain in my ankle, a cut through my arm, a jam in my fingers...each serve to symbolize my future speed bumps in life. Football has prepared me to fight through these hardships that will come in different figures and forms in college, may it be stubborn classmates, difficult courses, unsympathetic professors, or simply me myself. I will always reexamine my character, discipline, and commitment, and make sure that I am on the right path.

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Scholarship / "Excelling subjects and Factors to my success" - Short essay [NEW]

This is my first time using this forum, because I really need help on my English.
My english is horrible, and I would really appreciate if anyone would be help me make my essays make more sense. Thank You.

If the maximum number of characters are 7800 characters, how much should I really write for a 9 part essay? Do I really do the whole 7800? That's a lot of reading for my readers...

Discuss the subjects in which you excel or have excelled. To what factors do you attribute your success?

#1
I excel in the science and mathematics subject. Ever since I was a child, my father has encouraged me to become an engineer of some sort. Having this knowledge, I knew that I would have to succeed in the math and science area. I studied very hard in my freshman year and and received high A's in all my classes, but the effort I put into my math and science classes were no where near the effort I put into my English and social subjects. As my high school journey continued, my sophomore and junior year grades in math and science constantly reflected my persistent studies. My other subjects still mirrored my main subjects, but it was not the same passion and commitment I had for classes such as Pre-Calculus, Physics, or Chemistry. It makes me proud and gives me confidence that I am able to excel at subjects not everyone may be able to succeed at. It gives me hope that I am able to continue my education in college because of my determined attitude to be the best at what I do. My success comes from football and my family. I have been a part of my high school football team since freshmen year. This football program in my school has taught me many life lessons that I thought I would never learn from such an organization. It has taught me character, discipline, and commitment. During the hardest times in practice and games, I have learned to control my mental ability and to push forward. Football has created a mental toughness for my brain, and I use this technique to excel in my academic studies. Achieving success in these two subjects were not a roller coaster ride. I've had some tough times in my studies when I just wanted to give up and quit. But football taught me how to be mentally tough and focus on my goal. I have learned to fight through 105 degree weathers, sprained ankles, bloody cuts, and painful bruises, and not many students my age have experienced the battles I have fought. Persistence is a mark in my heart that will never erase, and this attribute has lead me to my success in anything I put my mind in to. Another attribute that leads to my success is my family, my parents especially. These two persons are the most important people in my life. They have done so much for me and in return, all they request of me is to study hard and become successful. I want to fulfill their wishes as they encourage me everyday to become the best.

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Discuss the subjects with which you had difficulty. What factors do you believe contributed to your difficulties? How have you dealt with them so they will not cause problems for you again? In what areas have you experienced the greatest improvement? What problem areas remain?

#2
The subjects that I have the most difficult with is English and Social Studies. Because I was born learning Korean first, it was a hard transition for me to change to the English language; I would sometimes say the Korean word for restroom and my teachers would look at me with a befuddled look on their face. Speaking Korean at home and English outside of home was not an easy subject. My parents have a lack of ability to speak and understand English, so I would have to do my part and speak Korean to them, but this comfort zone would leave when I had to go back to school. I have had a hard time with English grammar and writing, and still to this very day I find it very difficult for me. Because Social Studies and History is very similar to English Language and Skill, I also had a hard time excelling at this subject as well. Even though my grades were similar to my grades in Math or Science, I simply just did not seem like I had the same expectations like that of Math and Science. Math is just numbers and puzzles, while Science is concepts and systems, but English and History have a deeper complexity that I cannot ease into. To help myself in these two subjects, I began to read more English novels and books. I heard someone say, "You can't write if you can't read, and you can't read if you can't write..." From this revelation, I began to start my endeavor in this difficulty area. My parents encouraged me to read numerous amounts of books, and I slowly found enjoyment in many of the novels and English literature I read. I have improved tremendously in my speaking skills, and have a strong voice; my school has even requested me to do the morning announcements. History subjects are becoming less difficult, now that I can read the text books like a normal novel I would read in my spare time. I still do not have the same passion, that I have for math and science, but these two subjects that were once great walls in my path, are slowly chipping away. I still have some embarrassing moments when my English is twisted between my tongue, and the History Text is a sleeping tool, but that is the beauty of education. I will never stop learning.

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Briefly describe a situation in which you felt that you or others were treated unfairly or were not given an opportunity you felt you deserved. Why do you think this happened? How did you respond? Did the situation improve as a result of your response?

#3
Being Asian, is not always the best characteristic in an American society. Over the past years, I have experienced racism for my appearance and where I generally come from. School was not the most favorite place on my list, and being in a town with a low percentage of Asians made me isolated from my society and community. However, the only time I felt like I belonged some where was when I went on a thirty-five minute drive down to Austin every Sunday to my church, where other fellow Asians "united"; I knew this couldn't be my only source of refuge. I would be made fun of for my eyes, my language, and culture, and no one was really there to stand up for me. If I tried to stand up for my self, there would be a group of the same ethnicity right behind the Black-Americans, Caucasians, or Hispanics. As the kids in the community and myself matured, I would receive less hostility from others, but still the prejudice remained somewhere. It wasn't until my athletic ability allowed to me to distinguish myself in front of others. I became involved in school sports, such as basketball, football, and track. People in my team would still question me and insult me, but I shrugged it off and accepted that I was an alien among the society, since obviously this part of town has never acquainted with an Asian. As I grew up in the sport community, I became accepted and acclaimed in school. I would be the only Asian on the basketball team, football team, and track team. My Asian factor made me unique, because many of my excelling teammates would be African-American or White. Continuing these activities in high school, the students I played sports with became like brothers too me. Some left and new people came, but I quickly grabbed there attention by working hard, having a positive attitude, and always being optimistic. New Coaches I met would doubt my ability at first, but by giving hundred percent in my practices, they acknowledged my existence. Everything is different now then it was before. Instead of walking in the hallways with my head town, I am able to lift my body up and be unashamed of who I am. Taking a step out of the bubble, made me welcomed into a environment that I thought was so dangerous. I am not known by the "Asian" anymore, but a regular team member just like everyone else. My self-esteem has boosted tremendously, because I have worked hard to become a part of a respected organization. It was not an easy ride, to be at the position I am right now, but I have gained so much respect from my teammates, coaches, and even the community itself, by working hard and creating a strong will of fire in my heart. I have learned from this experience that If I want to gain respect, I have to do everything I can to receive it. Even though I felt like I was being treated unfairly in my life because of my ethnicity, doesn't mean I can just sit back and watch someone else serve justice for me. I discovered that I have to let go of all pride and arrogance and reach out for humility and humbleness, if I want to grasp an important opportunity.

Discuss your short and long-term goals. Are some of them related? Which are priorities?

REMOVED

I know this is a handful. But again I would really appreciate any Edits on any essays! i know my grammar is horrible but please give me any kind of advices!