Undergraduate / "Growth Through Astronomy" - Common App essay review [5]

Hi, I recently came up with this common app essay which i believe falls under the "Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you." category...I wanted to get meaningful opinions on it...

Growth Through Astronomy

My upbringing was never really one that allowed me to obtain much liberty. Both of my parents, for fear of the consequences, rarely let me stray too far from the mandates they set forth. It's only been recently, when I joined the school Astronomy Club, that I have really been able to appreciate my first true tastes of independence.

Early in my club career, talk had been going around about a field trip to the local NASA space station for weeks. At first, I was a bit skeptical of signing up for it because my lack of self-reliance had always been a hindrance of mine. My passion for astronomy and space exploration was strong enough to let me sign on as a possible guest to the Kennedy Space Center; all I had to do now was bring this topic up with my parents. Sitting at dinner the very same day, images of possible outcomes raced through my mind as I pondered what the outcome to my question would be. Without thinking I blurted out my question to my father who was sitting directly across from me. "Is it okay if I went on field trip to the Kennedy Center to watch a space shuttle launch?" I reluctantly asked. To my surprise, however, my parents gave me an answer right then and there; a resounding "Yes." Finally my parents had let go of my chains, so to speak, and a spark of excitement lit up in me.

The journey to NASA would begin at midnight the day of the launch. As a result, I would have to pack my bags and take a nap after I got home from school in order to make it to the shuttle that would take us on our outing. Eleven o'clock came and my alarm clock went off. As soon as I got up I knew there was no going back from this point. Soon I found myself walking up to a shuttle full of my peers. They seemed rather talkative while I kept to myself. Our bus driver took no time in putting the shuttle in gear and getting up on the highway that would lead us to our destination. As I watched streetlights go by just outside of my window, thoughts of uncertainty plagued my mind: How do I propose to look after myself and what should I do if something goes awry? Three o'clock arrived and we approach our halfway pit stop. When I disembarked the bus I was suddenly stricken with my new reality, it was time for me to be my own boss. My friends and fellow club members made my experience a much more comfortable one. Being able to talk and laugh together with them made me realize how vital other people in the "real world" can be in becoming an independent person. I'll have to admit, my peers were a huge driving force in helping me express myself as an individual whilst on my own.

The time had come, six thirty-one (NASA is very precise), for me to witness history. Comfortable with my newfound liberty I confidently stepped out of the shuttle and walked over to the viewing area for the launch. The loud speaker overhead began to count down in typical NASA fashion. Numbers that had now become legendary and synonymous with self-determination rang in my ears as I watched a rocket propel itself into the sky signaling the culmination of my journey. It's not that I am now ready to be totally on my own; it's that I have evolved into the kind of person that is capable of that.