Undergraduate / 'In and of the City' and 'In and of the World.' + 'Bring a person' - NYU [5]

soo i've found it extremely difficult to explain all the reasons I want to attend to NYU
but well that is not the problem here...English is not my first language so i would like people to please help me with any grammar error, and well tell me what they think about my responses...

PLEASE BE HARSH!
thanks!

Prompt 1 ( NYU is 'In and of the City' and 'In and of the World.' What does the concept of a global network university mean to you? How do you think studying in New York City, Abu Dhabi, or one of NYU's global sites would change you as a person and equip you to build cross-cultural relationships at NYU and beyond?)

I was born in Colombia, a nation struck with corrupt politicians and human rights violations. I want to study Political Science in NYUAD, since in a future I want to be part of a change that will help my country become a better place. As my school's SGA president, I understand the importance of leadership, exceptional education and engagement, traits most of our politicians do not count with, however NYUAD embodies them all in order to provide an education that will help me become a positive agent of change.

Prompt 2 ( NYU is 'In and of the City' and 'In and of the World.' What does the concept of a global network university mean to you? How do you think studying in New York City, Abu Dhabi, or one of NYU's global sites would change you as a person and equip you to build cross-cultural relationships at NYU and beyond?)

NYU is a challenge not many venture themselves in. It embodies the school's embrace for complex and often criticized cultures. Having grown in a conservative country like Colombia, studying at NYUAD represents a life changing experience I'm ready to embark on. It would enable me to challenge my beliefs, experience different ways of learning, and develop a broader conception of the world, thus making of me a more holistic being, able to provide a positive influence in my hermetic surroundings.

Prompt 3 (If you had the opportunity to bring any person -- past or present, fictional or nonfictional -- to a place that is special to you (your hometown or country, a favorite location, etc), who would you bring and why? Tell us what you would share with that person.)

Ten years ago my family had to abandon our farm due to death threats made to my father. Twelve years ago, Johan's father, a soldier whom he has never met, was captured and is now the longest-held hostage of the guerrilla. Things have started to change: my family is back in our farm and Johan travels around Colombia raising awareness of the forgotten hostages. Now, I would take him to my farm where I will show him my gratitude towards his family sacrifice and that is making our country a better place and assure him that as I got my farm back, we will soon meet his father.

THANKS!

Undergraduate / "My Machiavellican Dilemma"-Common App Option #2 [5]

I would really appreciate someone that evaluates my essay. I'm really not sure I'm responding the question the right way, or it could fit another option better, or maybe I'm not analyzing enought.

I'm not a native english speaker so please if you see any grammar error or something like that, tell me. I'm using this essay to apply to NYUAD

THANKS !!

"My Machiavellican Dilemma"

You can learn a lot about me just by asking the people from my school who I am. They will probably tell you I'm that overachiever girl with bold glasses who is always in the principal's office trying to get students' problem solved. They may also tell you that I am a girl who participates in as many activities as I can and that I am an idealistic "granola girl" with a "peace-and-love" thought. I guess that is why it came as no surprise I desire to study political science.

However, some time ago, I was shocked when a great friend of mine told me that he had enlisted in the army. Among the few words I was able to gesticulate at the moment, the most audible was "why?" He told me he wanted to return to our country all that it had given to him, I disagreed. As much as I tried to understand why he would put his life in risk in such an unnecessary way, I couldn't. In my opinion, war just brings more war. Nevertheless, my thoughts are quite distant from the crude reality. I live in Colombia, the country that set the standards of geniality in drug trafficking; the same country whose most famous exports are Pablo Escobar and Shakira, and the same one which hosts the oldest and largest insurgent group in the Americas. And much to my dismay it was true, as my friend told me, that violence has had diminished thanks to the strengthening of our military forces.

Even though he had strong arguments, I couldn't stop thinking of all the secondary effects war brings: heartbroken widows, orphan, and mothers without their sons. At that time, I considered soldiers violent animals that were stubborn enough to think shooting back at the enemies was the solution to our problems. What about a peaceful humanitarian dialogue, educating peasants so they won't get tricked with the socialist mask of these insurgent groups? What about giving them their rights...why can't we try other things other than war?

Two years have passed since that heated conversation; three great successes of our military forces have killed two head commanders and brought back to freedom fifteen hostages, including three Americans and former presidential candidate, Ingrid Betancourt. I still think that war is not the solution against the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia, because I believe the problem goes beyond that. If we don't make a social change, there will still be ignorant peasants joining insurgent groups thinking that that their mission and vision are fair, or, in a worse scenario, other insurgent groups may arise from the people's unconformities. Until there is no change, we will still face this vicious cycle.

Nevertheless, as time has passed and my mind is progressively becoming more open, I realize I was no one to point at my friend or at any other person that supports the democratic security program from our government. Every time I watch in the news all what the guerrilla has done (killing innocent people, terrorizing and massacring entire towns, charging farmers fees while pointing their heads with a gun), I also metamorphose into a violent animal that thinks shooting Rambo-style is the only solution. Sometimes I feel ashamed of that sudden rage that invades me, but other times I understand it is human nature to respond in such way when you see and experience the suffering of something you are so attached to.

Even if it's hard for me to accept it, can Machiavelli be right? And when there's such a distressing situation, can you only rely on a not so ethical end? I want my country to finally experience peace, but I'm concerned this quest will rely only in attacking, retaliation, death and unnecessary bloodshed. My answer to this is I don't know. And what if I'm not completely sure about something? I'm young, and at this point, I don't think having doubts is bad, especially about something I'm passionate like politics. This just gives me more space for learning, breaking paradigms, acquiring new knowledge, changing and most important of all, growing as a person.