Undergraduate / 'who I befriend' - First Impressions - FSU Essay (Vires, Artes, Mores) [3]

For some reason I've been seeing quite the amount of essays for FSU. Anyway:
I suggest reading over it a bit. The essay is fine but make sure you express "Vires" (whatever the heck that is) as best as you can.

good luck getting in~ :D

Undergraduate / Role-playing games + Manga: (1)My personality, (2)My Experience = UI@UC Essays [4]

It is my unprofessional opinion that these two are good essays. I can't really find anything but a few mistakes like typing "my" instead of "me" (take note of misspellings)...

Also, when shortening the first essay make sure you maintain flow.