Undergraduate /
"In the face of death" - Common App: an experience and how its affected your lfie [8]
"When one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book..." COMMON APP ESSAY"When one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language..." (John Donne) Through Lillian, I encountered my own rendition, a translation that transformed my perception to life. Her death made me realize that the foundations of my worldview were deceptive and a change was crucial.
Lillian, a cheerful and vivacious little girl entered Grace Children's Home in Nairobi, Kenya. In many ways she was like any other child in Africa, but she belonged to the exclusive transient fraternity of members who wore the badge of HIV-AIDS, a scarlet letter that exiles one from his or her society. This past year she couldn't escape the inevitable; her fragile body eventually succumbed to one of the most predominant pandemics in Africa.
For the past seven years, the orphans' lives have been interwoven with mine. Living in the same compound brought constant interaction and a flood of endless contact making me an "older brother" to these invisible children. My daily ritual of handing out biscuits to a mob of seventy children made me feel as if I possessed the ultimate treasure. I tried to ration out to the sick children first. Slowly gaining control of the ravenous horde, I tried to divide the biscuits equally to all. To my disgust all of the children kept coming back for more. Hunger and desperation had sparked their basic human instinct, survival. Amidst the screeching havoc, I caught an emaciated figure from the corner of my eye waiting patiently in the back of the swarm. While the kids, like famished hyenas at a feeding frenzy, gnawed and shrieked for one last morsel, Lillian waited with contentment and forbearance. After ten minutes of scramble and chaos, I was finally able to reach out to her. I gently offered her the treasure. Slowly, her juvenile cocoa hued hand stretched out and clutched her prize. Lillian gazed upon me with humble eyes that pierced my forsaken soul. A tiny grin wrinkled across her face and a faint whisper "Asante" (Swahili word for thank you).
In our conversations together, she told her dreams of becoming a teacher. She wanted to educate the destitute and give them an opportunity to flourish in life. Knowing the shadows of her disease would not allow her to achieve her altruistic dreams, she still dreamed while I wallowed. Lillian was a child of integrity, one who lived with exuberance and audacity. Her meek disposition exposed my true nature.
Just as Narcissus gazed and fell in love with his own reflection, Lillian became the pool of water that manifested my inner personality. However, unlike the Greek hero I did not find beauty, magnificence or splendor, but a shroud of darkness and abhorrent disgust. I was nauseated by my consuming insatiable materialistic lusts. My lifestyle was detestably revolting. Lillian's death turned my world upside down, a cognizance that exposed my self-absorbed shackles. My conscience became my fatal nemesis; slowly tearing apart my essence. Inadvertently, Lillian had awakened me from my stupor of self-importance.
As Lillian's chapters of life have come to an end, I seek to rewrite my new chapters of life. What will my new pages of life say? Will they describe a man imprisoned by his unquenchable lusts, or one who overpowered the manacles of his voracious pining? Since her death, I have strived to abandon my life of egocentricity, to put others before myself, and make service my priority. I have relinquished my old self and put my selfish ways behind me; however, I am maturing from my childish ways. I want to serve the people of Kenya in any way possible to show the change that Lillian evoked in my life. By majoring in business, in the future I hope to build schools and orphanages throughout Kenya. For now as time's winged chariot hurries near, I am focusing on the fleeting eight months I have remaining to be the exemplary "brother" and family to these lost children.
