Writing Feedback / International effort in solving Enviromental problems - My final try before IELTS [2]

My final try before taking the IELTS exam, welcome to any criticism and suggestion.

Topic:

Environmental problems are so big today that they cannot be solved by individual countries or individual people. We have reached the stage that the environmental problems must be solved for international effort. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Answer:

In present day and age, humans are confronted with grave environmental problems which, I believe, call for full international cooperation.

The first reason is that environmental issues are not confined to one single country. Problems such as freshwater crisis, ozone depletion and acceleration of species extinction have negative impacts on most countries. Therefore, solving these problems is a great responsibility which should be shared by all nations and demands concerted efforts.

Another reason is that tackling environmental problems is far beyond one or two countries' competences. Take the global warming which may cause serious consequences to human beings in the future for instance, it is impossible to pick out one country which can solve this problem solely by itself. Only with the joint concentration and cooperation from all countries can this be resolved to an ultimate extent.

It is conceded that international cooperation may involve some practical problems. The most likely one is that differing attitudes and approaches in countries could possibly lead to inefficiency in solving these problems. However, this is only a poor opposition against international cooperation and no way to dispose it. Instead, countries should make efforts to break the ice and so reach a consensus.

Single nation and individual also have their roles to play in preventing the environment from deteriorating. Governments with their political wills can promote the awareness of citizens through education and propaganda; and individuals can choose to live a low-carbon life by using less plastic bags, taking public transport instead of driving private cars and eating less food travelled through long distance, etc.

To conclude, collaborating in tackling environmental problems is imperative under current situation. In the meantime, individuals are also obligated to do their parts. Only by joint efforts of both individuals and countries can these problems be best solved.

Writing Feedback / Is there anything we can do to stop crime? [3]

Topic:
Many people are afraid to leave their homes because of crime. Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime while others feel little can be done to stop crime. What is your opinion?

Answer:
Soaring crime rate brings many people great fear for leaving their homes. Despite the negative attitude that little can be done to stop the crime, I believe there are several approaches to control it, although not completely eliminate it.

Education is an essential element in reducing the crime rate in the long run. According to the recent statistics reported by Institution of Social Security, the more widespread the education is, the less crimes are committed in a society or region. Therefore, the government should always guarantee the allocation in education or consider increasing it.

The inappropriate coverage of crime by the media also contributes to driving up the crime rate. For instance, the media tend to cover the bloody and violent scene in order to boost the ratings or circulations, which may arouse a potential criminal's motivation to commit a crime and instruct him how to achieve it. Consequently, the coverage of media should be checked carefully and restricted to some extend.

Apart from the education and the media, the instability of the society is another factor that directly leads to crime. For example, as a result of the economic crisis, numerous people become jobless or even homeless, which would possibly drew some of them into life of crime. So the third solution is to reduce the unemployment rate and improve social benefits so as to raise the stability of the society.

These are not easy steps to take; however, doing nothing is irresponsible and would give loose rein to criminals, which would result in more crimes. Although we can not be too optimistic that through these approaches the crime would be hundred-percent wiped out, I am convinced that it will be refrained from to a great extend.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing - Should the reports of detailed crime be banned? [3]

I really appreciate your comments and suggestions.

Topic:
The news media should not report details of crimes to the public. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Answer:
These days, the news media report the crimes in a more detailed way, and sometimes they even exaggerate in order to boost the ratings or circulations. Consequently, many people think that these reports should be banned.

Prohibiting the detailed reports of crime is not unreasonable because there is no denying that the covering of crimes hurts the feelings of victims and their families. It is ruthless for people who have suffered offences to suffer once again before they recover from it. What's more, the thorough reports may instruct potential criminals what mistakes they will possibly make before committing a crime and thus turn them into more skilled professionals in accomplishing what they plan to do; as a result, the crime rate will be driven up.

However, reports of detailed crimes also play an indispensible role in some aspects. First, these reports pose a threat to potential criminals. For instance, people who intend to do something illegal can be deterred from putting their dangerous thoughts into practice; therefore, the number of criminals will be reduced to some extent. Second, the news media shoulder the responsibility of propagating the spirit of the law, and reporting detailed crime is an important approach to achieve this. By this way, the public are taught to distinguish between the right and the wrong and to apply the law after knowing it. These are beneficial to the construction of a law-ruling society.

So in my opinion, we should not refrain from reporting the crimes for fear of a slight risk, but before publicizing, these reports must be checked carefully and permitted by the victims and their families.

Henry

Writing Feedback / IELTS-Should children cooperative spirit and a competitive mind [3]

I am going to take my IELTS test two weeks later and I really appreciate your comments and suggestions.

Topic:
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion..

Answer:
These days, people are having a hard time reaching consensus on whether children should be taught to have a sense of cooperation or a notion of competition. I will discuss both sides in this debate.

Those who insist that a sense of cooperation in children should be advanced have two reasons. First, it is beneficial to children's psychological health. Recently a research involved 300 or so primary school students shows that those who are more cooperative perform better in communicating with the others and so more popular among classmates while some who show intensive notions of competition suffered loneliness or even isolation to some extent. What's more, large-scale production and project，such as genetic engineering、manned space flight and environment protection, all demands for a spirit of teamwork and an ability of coordinating, which need to be cultivated from childhood.

Admittedly, competition becomes unprecedentedly stiff in present day and age. accordingly, there are many tend to think that a sense of competition should be developed as priority during childhood, otherwise children, when growing up to be adults, would have to encounter failure frequently. From my perspective, I will not deny the importance of individual competence. Nevertheless, we should be aware that no single person goes through with everything and never makes a mistake. Only in a united team can individual achieve his best because his or her drawbacks can be composited for by others. By that I mean, without a capacity of cooperating, one can hardly survive from the rat race.

In a nutshell, I believe both a cooperative spirit and a competitive mind are essential for a child; however, the former outweighs the later. Therefore, parents and teachers should pay more attention to instruct children how to cooperate with rather compete against each other.