nunu2011
Oct 27, 2010
Undergraduate / "not having a father figure" - meaningful event, experience or accomplishment [5]
Thank you. I've rewritten it. Can you provide input on the rewrite?
Concentrated attention to education was not a part of my life until it was almost too late. I grew up in a home where survival was trying to get through the night without listening to the fights between my mother and her husband. He was not at bad person just very volatile and was solely dependent on the income of my mother. She carried a very overwhelming load of the household and the rearing of 5 girls. Yes, she made sure we went to school, but that was it. The importance of achievement and excelling was not in our world. The change in my life came while I was in the 7th grade. My grandmother married my grandfather who is strictly all about education and doing whatever it takes to make an impact in life. The change did not only come over me, but my whole family. I came home one day and I asked my mother where my stepfather was? I was very surprised to hear that she had made him move out. I thought about all the stealing, crying and pain my mother had gone through and I made a vow to myself that I would be the catalyst that would encourage my 4 sisters to be independent and not let the circumstances of life knock them down. I started really concentrating in school and doing my work and not playing around. This positive action earned me a turnaround award in the 8th grade. When I had the opportunity to enroll in the early college program with the encouragement from my grandparents, I recognized that I could realize my dreams. I took advanced classes and I thought I was well on my way to the top. As time went on I started to feel weak, I started breaking out and patches of hair fell out. The doctors could not find out what was wrong with me and I started to think that maybe I was dying. My work suffered although I never missed a day of school. I played basketball, volunteered tutoring underprivileged kids. I rose above my pain. In the 11th grade things got worse and I was diagnosed with Lupus. My first thought was to just give up, but my grandmother gave me some excellent advice. She told me that we live and we die, but it is what we do in between that makes a difference.
I want to leave a legacy of strength, fortitude and a determination that no matter what life challenges face me and to not give up. I will make it and be that beacon of light that shines for all to see. I started out slow, gained momentum, got knocked down, but still I strive. I want and need the opportunity to be a solid leader and a trailblazer in society while I can for as long as I can. If given a chance, I know that I will bring commitment and dedication to the University of Florida.
Thank you. I've rewritten it. Can you provide input on the rewrite?
Concentrated attention to education was not a part of my life until it was almost too late. I grew up in a home where survival was trying to get through the night without listening to the fights between my mother and her husband. He was not at bad person just very volatile and was solely dependent on the income of my mother. She carried a very overwhelming load of the household and the rearing of 5 girls. Yes, she made sure we went to school, but that was it. The importance of achievement and excelling was not in our world. The change in my life came while I was in the 7th grade. My grandmother married my grandfather who is strictly all about education and doing whatever it takes to make an impact in life. The change did not only come over me, but my whole family. I came home one day and I asked my mother where my stepfather was? I was very surprised to hear that she had made him move out. I thought about all the stealing, crying and pain my mother had gone through and I made a vow to myself that I would be the catalyst that would encourage my 4 sisters to be independent and not let the circumstances of life knock them down. I started really concentrating in school and doing my work and not playing around. This positive action earned me a turnaround award in the 8th grade. When I had the opportunity to enroll in the early college program with the encouragement from my grandparents, I recognized that I could realize my dreams. I took advanced classes and I thought I was well on my way to the top. As time went on I started to feel weak, I started breaking out and patches of hair fell out. The doctors could not find out what was wrong with me and I started to think that maybe I was dying. My work suffered although I never missed a day of school. I played basketball, volunteered tutoring underprivileged kids. I rose above my pain. In the 11th grade things got worse and I was diagnosed with Lupus. My first thought was to just give up, but my grandmother gave me some excellent advice. She told me that we live and we die, but it is what we do in between that makes a difference.
I want to leave a legacy of strength, fortitude and a determination that no matter what life challenges face me and to not give up. I will make it and be that beacon of light that shines for all to see. I started out slow, gained momentum, got knocked down, but still I strive. I want and need the opportunity to be a solid leader and a trailblazer in society while I can for as long as I can. If given a chance, I know that I will bring commitment and dedication to the University of Florida.
