Undergraduate / Success + Bright, Bold and Beautiful - uc admission, personal statement [8]

please tell me what you really think. also if you find any minor errors that would be helpful as well
~thank u

PROMPT 1

Success

Success is what my family expects. Anything done in life should be done with great determination. The day after my older sister's graduation, I started thinking about my future and asked myself will I be successful? When I addressed this question to my parents, they said being able to do what you aim for; no matter how small or supposedly insignificant, in the eyes of others; is success in its essence.

My mom is a teacher, her passion is to expand the young mind. All she has ever talked about is being successful and doing good in school, she teaches me to reach for my goals and aim to do my best. My dad, a lawyer in Kurdistan has effected my future career goals in a positive way. He teaches me that success isn't about big houses and being wealthy, but rather the person you are and how happy you are in life.

My true inspiration for wanting success is looking at my parents life and seeing what they went through to give me a shot at success. During 1996 we were under attack in Iraq, my parents had no choice but to leave their lives and family behind to protect me and my sisters. The lives they once lived had to be forgotten if they wanted us to see a better day. My dad, the famous lawyer and my mom the inspirational teacher had come to America to seek opportunity for their children.

My parents, speaking no English, had to come to this great place they heard of called America and start their new lives. At the time my sister had asked my parents why we left our country. My dad, with hope in his eyes stated "soon enough you will understand why we did this for you and your sisters and you will appreciate live as you live it without much worries."

As the years went on, both my parents had completed college in the united states and had big hope that things will change. My mom got a job as a teacher and my dad started working as a computer tutor after college. They would always laugh and say "if we did it, you can do it but even better!"After this they expected nothing less then happiness and achievement.

My life and career goals are set at a high limit because of my parents' advice. Every time there is a challenge I don't fear overcoming it because if I attempt to try anything, I will be guaranteed success in life. So when I think about what my parents did to give me opportunity, I always think to myself, I'm thankful to have people their for me who will push me towards success.

Prompt 2

Bright, Bold and Beautiful

Yellow is a bright beautiful color. Compared to all the other colors yellow is the one that attracts the eye. Whether its trying to or not, the color yellow stands out. People can be categorized by colors. Dark blues and browns are people who prefer to be standing in the background trying not to be seen. Pinks and oranges are those people who try to be involved and spirited but aren't naturally born to be a bright color. Yellow, however, can be seen from miles away. Yellow are people who naturally stand out and aren't afraid to be different. I'd like to call myself a yellow.

Before 8th grade graduation my school asked the graduates if they wanted to audition to be the student speaker they had to write a 5 minute speech and present it to all participating teachers and they would get to choose who should say their speech at graduation. I wasn't planning to do it, I was just waiting to go shopping for a graduation dress and to get to high school. The next day I was called out of class and the woman in charge of the auditions told me I was recommended my 5 teachers to do the speech. Hearing that made me a lot more interested in trying it out.

Everyone who auditioned seemed like a different shade of color. The bold colors were the stand out people who will not take no for an answer and strive to do their best, the neutrals were those who will be known for some type of achievement but don't keep it going, and the dark colors were the unknown achievers.

Seeing the world in the color of yellow has greatly effected the changes around me. Being afraid has never crossed my mind, I am nervous but never scared to go for something that seems impossible to achieve. With that, I wrote a speech that showed my true and honest colors. Many people did really well but I never once doubted myself and just hoped for the best.

Colleges are looking for over achievers that are willing to stand up to any challenge. Sometimes others don't realize that until it's too late. The challenges faced in college are things some neutrals and dark colors can not handle it if they continue "staying inside the lines of the coloring book." so the winners were to be announced and I was more nervous then I thought, I actually wanted to win and be the best! Finally, after a long wait they had called the winners name, "the winner is Darav Naseem for student speaker" It was a very exciting moment, out of all the different speeches and styles written I had won!

When it feels like the moment to shine, you must take it and never think your too far behind to do great. This makes me the person I am, my personality, my attitude towards things, and my overall presentation. I have had multiple experiences that have tested my ability but being the color yellow never let me down. Weather you are yellow, orange,green, blue, purple, (etc.) everyone has a change for bigger things, you must work to get where you want and want what you've worked for.