Posts by Nom Nom Nom

Nom Nom Nom

Oct 31, 2010

Undergraduate / Advertising, Journalism? - ESSAY FOR HARVARD, UCHICAGO, AMERICAN, CARNEGIE [15]

It's quite rude of you to post for help in other people's threads without helping them at all. Anyway, I've read your essay and I felt it was quite a disheartening story.

I remember when I would feel embarrassed to bring my own mother to class to read to us.

If you help someone else out with their essay, I'm sure he/she will be more than happy to help you out with yours. You should take this into consideration! Good luck with your essay. :)

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Oct 27, 2010

Undergraduate / "I have obsessive compulsive disorder" - Stanford Roomate Essay [6]

I think it's just a joke and you have to read it light heartedly.

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Oct 27, 2010

Undergraduate / Dantes inferno Bball Court -- WHY STANFORD [8]

After three summers, I have finally realized what is special about Stanford: its people.

I was overwhelmed by the feverishly peddling bikers and the excited students jumping from one fountain to another, not to mention I was taking a calculus course.

This seems like a run on. I think a possible fix could be a long dash.

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Oct 27, 2010

Undergraduate / "How I've come to accept my father's return to Russia" Common app essay [5]

He left anyway. reword, doesnt makes sense ? complete sentence ?

Actually this is a complete sentence!

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Oct 27, 2010

Undergraduate / "Enrolled in a ballet class" - Stanford roommate supplement! [7]

I was a little menace to society

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Oct 27, 2010

Undergraduate / Dantes inferno Bball Court -- WHY STANFORD [8]

I really liked your essay because of how interesting it is! :)

I dream about the discussions I will have with my fellow classmates at two in the morning when we are completely drained from a week long of classes.

I think after would be more suitable.

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Oct 25, 2010

Undergraduate / Let's Crap Detect: Stanford Intellectual Activity Supp [9]

I now use the skill everywhere and have only encountered one problem with. Its name.

I think you either meant to say "one problem with it: its name" or "encountered a problem with its name."

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Oct 21, 2010

Undergraduate / "There was a God somewhere watching over us" -an experience that changed your life. [9]

This essay is really great but I do agree with Kevin! You're going a bit overboard in some of your sentences, and your new revision conveyed your message better. I thought your essay was really heartfelt! :)

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Oct 21, 2010

Undergraduate / "a gateway to my future, new horizons" - The Ohio State University application essay [4]

I am ~~not only~~ also interested in ~~The~~ Ohio State University, not only for its education, ~~though,~~because I also feel like there is an enormous feeling of school spirit and pride running throughout the campus

There are also a few instances where your sentences could be a bit iffy. Your essay should be more personal like your interests and how OSU is significant to your interests rather than just praising the school.

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Oct 17, 2010

Undergraduate / "Another Night on Facebook" - personal quality, talent, experience [6]

To all the people I've pissed off or hurt or annoyed or ignored.

This part is a fragment! To all the people I've pissed off or hurt or annoyed or ignored, I wish I could apologize for being who I am. Combining the two sentences would work but I think it differs from the effect that you are trying to create.

The whole essay of procrastination might give off a slightly negative vibe even thought I really liked what you did with it at the end! Personally, I liked your essay! :)