Undergraduate / Cornell Engineering essay - I want to bring magic to the real world [3]

I have to submit this essay by today... I just want additional ideas on this essay.. Be harsh and thank you in advance!!! :)

College of Engineering:
Engineers turn ideas (technical, scientific, mathematical) into reality. Tell us about an engineering idea you have or your interest in engineering. Explain how Cornell Engineering can help you further explore this idea or interest. (500words)

When I was young, I wanted to be a wizard like Harry Potter. I wanted to ride a Firebolt, make an object levitate using the "Wingardium leviosa" spell, and hide myself with an invisibility cloak. However, as I grew up, these childish ambitions faded and a new dream emerged: I wanted to seek ways to turn this "magic" into reality.

However, as a girl from a culture that assigns definite gender roles, becoming an engineer seemed as bizarre as wanting to attend Hogwarts. Engineering was considered a man's field, and this "fact" naturally led me towards a major in biology. However, something has always left me feeling unsettled about this decision: I like both math and science. Ever since I took science courses in high school, I was fascinated because almost everything in the world could be explained clearly and concisely. I also found myself enjoying math because of the sense of accomplishment I gained after finding a definite answer to a difficult question. However, it was not until I took physics that I was able to learn how much I would gain from majoring in engineering.

As I learned about physics, I was continually surprised at how much I enjoyed it. Throughout the many labs, I was amazed at how different equations, such as those for kinematics and energy, can be combined together to construct an answer like magic. I had been prejudiced in my assumption that physics was not for me, and I realized this as I found myself being engrossed in the subject, which has led to my decision to attend an engineering school. Consequently, this has revived my childish ambition: I want to bring the magic that I dreamed of as a child to the real world through engineering. Specifically, I want to pursue biomedical engineering, an interdisciplinary subject that combines all my favorite subjects. Moreover, having researched the development of antibiotic resistance during the science fair, I have developed a penchant for research and finding solutions to complicated problems. Thus, I see much potential in this relatively new field, as many answers are yet to be discovered and various opportunities lie ahead.

Cornell Engineering offers resources that will aid my intellectual and social development. Not only does it has one of the best biomedical departments filled with devoted and caring professors, but also Cornell Engineering provides a variety of research opportunities and programs that will help me to become a creative leader and a critical thinker. I aspire to participate in cardiovascular valvular tissue research with professor Jonathan T. Butcher and to become an active member of Student Project Team. I would also like to join the Kessler Fellows Program, which will prepare me to expand my education for use in the business world. Thus, as a place I consider to be full of gifted "wizards," I believe I will not only gain from Cornell, but also add value to the community by actively engaging and challenging myself in my surroundings. Cornell is the Hogwarts that I have been looking for.

Undergraduate / "love of music, don't stop singing" - U of Michigan supplement essay [3]

Hey, this is my supplement essay for U-M. You can criticize it as much as you want. Your comment will be a great help for me:) Thank you sooooooooo much!

Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. (Approximately 250 words)

"Can you please stop singing? I am getting tired of listening to the same song over and over... You've sang that song for more than two hours already!" This is what my mom used to tell me whenever we drove to my grandmother's house every summer vacation. As a 6 years old girl who has just recently learned how to play piano, my life was literally full of music. Since then, music has become a big part of my life, which defines me as a person.

More recently, my interest in music has led me to join school's band and has developed me into a fervent participant of a cooperative act, especially as a 1st clarinet player in wind ensemble band. I, unlike other people casually enjoying rock music or hip-hop, began to appreciate music in other ways: I found out how my small and seemingly trivial part can contribute to the sound of the band as a whole and create a mellifluous harmony. Therefore, with this realization, attending band class has been a dominant part of my school life. Every time I sign up for classes, band has been my priority. Everyday, I end my day with music, which refreshes and relieves my fatigue. Yes. It is true that I am never going to be like Chopin or Mozart, who can magically create a masterpiece or play a song with no effort. However, despite this fact, I am still a lover of music.