Posts by cschupp10

cschupp10

Jan 25, 2011

Undergraduate / Brown Environmental Leadership in Hawaii - where to start? [3]

Please write a 1 page statement describing what you hope to learn from this program.

Where to start?

cschupp10

Oct 27, 2010

Undergraduate / "grew up in two different societies" - How has your neighborhood shaped you?! [3]

This is a great start but i would make a few changes:

-How does this describe you? Add more about yourself instead of just a few ending sentences.

-It is a bit repetitive, with "I" at the beginning of almost every sentence. Add variety!

This is Good!!!
Good luck!

cschupp10

Oct 27, 2010

Undergraduate / Personal statement from sophomore in high school - small town (Vallejo) [3]

-How it was hard growing-up and watching my parents fight mentally emotionally and physically
-how there divorce was hard on both me and my brother but i had to hold all my pain in, because i had to be the shoulder my brother cried on

-how my parents are still fighting over who gets the kids in the divorce

These three are definitely strong, and you can tie all three in together! I think this would be a great essay if you used descriptive language and set the scene right off the bat instead of following the usual format and repeating the question.

Good luck!!

cschupp10

Oct 23, 2010

Undergraduate / "College search as a special interest, experience" - TULANE UNIVERSITY ESSAY [5]

No, no that is just about exactly what i thought. I just am having trouble finding something to write about. and suggestions?

cschupp10

Oct 23, 2010

Undergraduate / "College search as a special interest, experience" - TULANE UNIVERSITY ESSAY [5]

Okay, so i am filling out the application and the prompt is as follows:
"Using the space below, please write between 250 and 500 words to describe a special interest, significant experience or achievement, or anything else that has special meaning to you or had a significant influence on you."

I have started to write the essay but i am stuck. I don't know where i should go from here or if i should just scrap the entire thing and start over. HELP!

here's what i have:
A special experience that has had a significant influence on me is this: the college search. By applying to prestigious universities and digging up information about my past, I have learned a great deal about myself. I think that is the whole point of this process. Writing personal statements and essays about my talents, traits, and experiences has forced me to think about the kind of person I am, as well as the type of person I want to become.