Undergraduate / "Basketball, enjoy a little of everything" - Why Upenn- Upenn Supplement, Feedback [3]

This is for the University of Pennsylvania Supplement essay, it asks you the question below. Could anyone state if i stayed relevant to the topic on hand? thanks, quick answers will be appreciated

Considering both the specific undergraduate school or program to which you are applying and the broader University of Pennsylvania community, what academic, research, and/or extracurricular paths do you see yourself exploring at Penn?

I quickly take my seat amongst the crowd of chattering students. Having some time off in the Houston Hall can really make you lose track of time, I was nearly late for my English class. Majoring in English was my choice due to my grand love for books since I was a small child. Reading books such as Harry Potter over and over were commonplace for me, I'd often rush to my local library on weekends to check out books just to speed read them within hours and hurry back to get another bunch.

As we discuss our latest literature techniques and styles, I remember that I had forgotten some important notes for my Music major as well. My second class was chosen due to my attraction to the guitar and piano. At the ripe age of eight I was exposed to the piano, it was at that particular moment that I began my long lasting dislike of the instrument. I was constantly forced to practice it by my well-meaning parents who believed that I would appreciate their futile efforts when I was mature. Even as I grew older and became better at playing it, I never managed to turn my dislike into a hot passion. I proceeded to abandon my piano lessons, and never think about it again. It was not until I was fourteen that I decided to return to the instrument, as I began to remember my basic lessons a certain feeling was born. Strangely enough, I began making music and enjoying it, the effect of this leading to me starting the guitar. After this sudden appearance of a long lost passion, I realized that music and literature were on equal priority to me. When I was confronted to choose my classes, the answer was simple, a double major.

Drawing has also been a favorite hobby of mine, while not on the same extent as music or literature; it interested me enough to transfer anything that suddenly popped into my chaotic mind to paper. I would often practice sketching for an hour or two, tracing my hand shape and size onto my loose-leaf notebook. While my paper suffered heavy markings and mess-ups, my drawings would come out in a satisfying manner. I can clearly see a third option, the Fine arts. As a accompanying minor, I'd say it would further expand my majors.

Basketball, being the second most popular sport in the world has won my heart. Watching spectacular replays on sites such as Youtube is a major part of my daily Internet surfing routine. Watching Michael Jordon make his famous shot over Craig Ehlo to win the 1989 Eastern conference playoffs 101-100 makes my heart race like no other sport. That's why I will be taking basketball as a varsity sport, making it clear that someday I would want to make a shot just like the greatest basketball player of all time. My interests are vast and general, I enjoy a little of everything, mostly because I feel that if I were to occupy my mind on one thing it would close it completely to any other choices. I reflect on these things as I lie wide awake in my bed, just reflecting about how great it is to be given a chance to be as diverse as I want to be.

any grammatical feed back will welcomed as well!

Undergraduate / "My Thought"- Common App, Feedback [3]

This is my Common Application Personal Essay, i feel that its a very rough draft and would benefit from some grammatical and idea criticism, thanks!

My Thought

On a typical fall school day, amidst a mess of screaming and kicking children, I did what no other kid has ever done before. Instead of toying with the new Batman action figure, or reading "Horrible Harry in Room 2B" for the sixth time I sat down and thought. Yes you read right, a kid has actually been thinking. The nature of my thought was simple, yet perplexing, and it emerged in the form of a mental voice. It was a nonchalant type, casually asking me "Why?"

I responded "Why what?",
"Why are we playing with toys, why are we doing these things?".
"Well because... it's fun to do these things."
"Why do we play for this so-called fun" it responded.
"Well... I...", I was dumbstruck, no matter how much I racked my brain I could not answer his weird question. I was disturbed and quickly relied on my teacher, Ms Jones for help. She always answered all my questions without falter so I was positive I would get a definitive answer. I called her over and asked her the simple question, "Well sweetie, school is to educate you and your friends" An answer typical and good enough for a kid my age, but yet I was not satisfied. "But why do we learn?",

"To prepare you for life's challenges"
"Why prepare if we are going to die someday?"
At this point she could no longer fight back, instead opting to change the uneasy topic into a more kid friendly one. This only piqued my curiosity to grandiose heights and converted my cogitation into a dominant one.

When I arrived home from school that day, I was armed with the great question. I asked my parents, my friends, and even checked the newspaper in hopes that it would magically answer me, but to no avail. The question grew until it changed my personality, into an inhibited one. After that day I no longer saw the point in playing or reading, I felt no different before and after I did these things, and saw no worldly change in what I did. It was basically a loss of sheer motivation, all due to knowledge (known to be harmful). As I grew older, the idea remained and shaped how I saw the world, filled with pointlessness. It reinforced my comfort zone telling me that there was no point in attending that new soccer club or playing piano. I turned to reading and other anti social activities because I was familiar with them. It wasn't until I was twelve that my question finally found an answer. I was confronted by my gym teacher with the option of joining the basketball team due to my tall height; as usual I was going to decline when I hesitated. This was a good chance to try something out for once after rejecting so many other things. As if called, the voice popped in again arguing that it was a waste of time. This time I ignored it and accepted the proposal. The reason for this change of heart was the mundane routine. It was time for change and it came in the form of sport. I ended up enjoying my decision a great amount, much to my regret that I had not done it earlier. Whenever my special voice would come interrupting my decisions with "Why?" I would confidently answer back, "Why not?".