Posts by snarkie

snarkie

Nov 13, 2010

Undergraduate / "resources available in the College of arts and sciences" -Cornell [5]

As a young child might be a better way to start. Also, later in the first paragraph you refer to your tendency to learn new things, this is a good direction to go in but tendency may not be the best word. I suggest something more like, propensity for learning or perhaps just a desire to learn new things. However ~~even as a young child~~ , I always devoted a little more time, a little more effort into the subject that intrigued me the most,~~. That subject is~~ astronomy.

The first few sentences of the second paragraph sound a bit awkward and choppy, especially the first sentence. The second sentence might be better if you added a word like "Unfortunately" to the beginning. The second half of this paragraph is lovely, I quite like it.

The third paragraph is good.

Maybe expand the fourth paragraph a bit and elaborate.

The little conclusion paragraph is unnecessary.

Overall, you did a nice job describing your interest but you only touched upon their evolution.
Elaborate on what sparked your interest maybe? If it was the middle school textbook make that more clear.

Good luck!

snarkie

Oct 27, 2010

Undergraduate / "practical knowledge in arts and science" - Cornell CAS Supplement [2]

My essay for Cornell University's College of Arts and Sciences.
Any advice/corrections would be fantastic!

College of Arts and Sciences:
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.

Slipping on a pair of gloves, I grimaced down at the slimy creature on the table in front of me. It was dissection day in my biology class sophomore year and I wasn't too thrilled about cutting open a dead frog. In fact, I was a little repulsed by it. My lab partner handed me a scalpel and I reluctantly made the first incision, right down the middle of the frog's abdomen. Then, while my partner pinned down the flaps of skin, I began poking around inside, looking for things on the diagram our teacher had given us. After a few minutes, my initial disgust gave way to curiosity. Picking apart a dead frog was gross, but it was also interesting. I got to actually learn hands-on instead of just reading information out of a book. I had a lot of fun that day and for the rest of the year in that class. I always loved science, but I quickly discovered that biology was especially exciting to me. Outside of school, I would read articles about cells, genetics, disease, and whatever other topics I stumbled upon. I would come into class everyday with new questions and looked forward to doing lab experiments. As a junior I took AP statistics and learned a lot about designing experiments and analyzing data. This furthered my interest in the world of research which biology had introduced me to. I've always had a lot of questions about the world around me, and through science I hope to find some of the answers.

At this point in my life, I don't know exactly where my love for science, especially biology, will take me. It may be that science combined with the satisfaction I get from working with people will lead me to medical school, or perhaps my curiosity and passion for learning will take me down the path of scientific research. However, regardless of what I ultimately decide to do, I know Cornell University's College of Arts and Sciences will help me accomplish my goals. Cornell is known for the fantastic research opportunities it offers its students. The Cornell community shares my intense curiosity and enthusiasm for education. My professors and fellow students alike will help me develop my interests by engaging me in intelligent conversations and opening my eyes to new ideas. Through Cornell, I'll gain practical knowledge in subject matter that really excites me.