Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by kmerry
Joined: Oct 31, 2010
Last Post: Oct 31, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 6
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
kmerry   
Oct 31, 2010
Undergraduate / "what I'm capable of" - Brown supp - "What Don't you know?" [6]

I'm not sure how I feel about this essay, I don't think I like it as a whole but I see some parts as salvageable. What do you think?

The prompt is:
What don't you know?

I don't know what I'm capable of. Without meaning to, I have placed limits on myself that hinder my potential. Limits such as, "I'm bad at Math", or "I'll never be a good runner", or even "I won't be able to get into that school". But moving right before my senior year made me stop and re-assess these restrictions. When I found out I was moving I had set the limit: "senior year will be awful", but to my surprise senior year is not awful and I am successfully adapting to a brand new environment. I had proven this limit wrong, was it possible to do the same with others?

I cannot remember looking forward to a single math class. My frustration with the seemingly impossible subject never stopped growing. I had always attributed my troubles with math to what seemed to be a lack of natural talent, but if I disregarded my previous limit another inhibiting factor became apparent. Out of all my math teachers, only one had helped and encouraged me. I realized that the only limit on my mathematical abilities had been an environmental one. I don't know how successful in math I could be, but now that I see my potential I intend to find out.

Running was also something I believed myself to have no aptitude in. All throughout school, I dreaded P.E. because we would have to run a mile every quarter. But looking back, I realize my disdain for running could have been prevented. The only time I ran was on "mile day" and I expected myself to achieve a mile time of eight minutes or less. My high expectations led to disappointment, and I declared myself a bad runner. Now that I know more about how exercise works, it is obvious that my lack of preparation was responsible for my poor running, not my lack of skill. I don't know what it feels like to run a mile in less than eight minutes, but maybe after some training I will.

When I started envisioning myself at college, Brown was not in the picture. I imagined myself at a good school, but not one of the best schools in the country. My flaws were too great and my accomplishments too minor to apply to such a prestigious school. This was potentially the most dangerous limit I ever placed on myself. My education and, consequently, my future would have been affected. Luckily, this limit, along with all my other limits, has been eradicated. My education will continue at the school that is right for me, and that school is one of the best in the nation. Without my limits I feel more confident in my abilities as a student, an athlete, and an applicant. I don't know what I am capable of without limits, but I am excited to find out.
kmerry   
Oct 31, 2010
Undergraduate / Integrity and Honesty -Common app essay [4]

I think the topic is good, colleges know that their applicants aren't perfect and you're showing how you've grown from your imperfections. However, I do think that the whole essay is a little wordy, there were times when I had to re-read a section to understand what you were trying to say. You should also try reading it out loud to yourself to catch awkward sounding sentences.
kmerry   
Oct 31, 2010
Undergraduate / "I'm a a royal pain" - Stanford Roommate Essay [7]

I definitely like the lightheartedness, it lets your roommate know you're a fun person. I really like the examples you give too, they help by getting other people's opinions on you instead of just you're own (because don't we all think highly of ourselves? (: ).
kmerry   
Oct 31, 2010
Undergraduate / "My dad said: make good choices" - Brown Supp-Best Advice [5]

I am applying early decision and it's due tomorrow, and my essay still isn't finished.
I chose the prompt asking about the best piece of advice I've ever received
this is what I have so far:

When I think of my dad many things come to mind, including his most common words of wisdom: "make good choices". His advice may seem trivial, but it is truly the best I have ever received.

Whenever my dad says this gem of a phrase he has a smile on his face and often a comical voice. His lightheartedness makes it easier to take his words to heart; he isn't telling me that there is a right and a wrong choice to make, just a good one. He knows that my criteria for a good choice may be different than his, and that sometimes he won't agree with my "good" choices. Still, he has continued to let me make my own decisions and I think this is because he knows I take his advice seriously.

All the choices I have made have been good ones, maybe not by everyone's standards but definitely by mine. My dad's belief in my ability to make positive decisions has influenced me in a way that I think he hoped for, but didn't expect. I make all of my choices with confidence knowing that they will not be regretted later, and make sure that the only person to influence my decision is me. My dad's advice has saved me from making potentially very bad decisions: choosing that one boy, picking that one class, and dying that one part of my hair blue.

I know it's not very strong and I just can't think of what else to write. Any criticisms on whats already there or ideas on what I could do to make it stronger/longer would be greatly appreciated!!
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳