Llrosso89
Nov 1, 2010
Writing Feedback / IELTS : Why should human beings travel to outer space? [5]
Perhaps add in information about searching for life on other planets (aka exoplanets). There was an article out recently about finding the Goldilock's planet which was an exoplanet found with suitable environment for living. Astronomers then drew conclusions that out of the billions galaxies out there there has to be at least 5 billion habitable planets.
Improving space technology and travel will allow us to eventually visit said planets and if necessary allow earthlings to move there if necessary. Granted the earth and our sun have another so billion years left of life, our sun is still young in comparison to some other suns. Space travel will allow humans to visit these far galaxies where it is harder for us to see with a telescope. Telescopes only pick up light and reflected like which is why is makes it so hard to find exoplanets that are habitable.
Space travel will also allow us to see black holes (we currently do experiments on Earth, we create small black hole (about a millimeter) and test our theories on them) and see how a larger black hole actually functions albeit from a safe distance.
Perhaps we could also use space travel to visit Pluto and clarify its orbiting patterns. From observation we know Pluto and Charon rotate around one another and just large comets within the Kupier belt.
As for corrections to make: "Favourable" is not a word its "Favorable". The study of outer space is more commonly called Astronomy.
The sentence with saying 'an act of wasting money' sounds awkward and silly. Try: 'consider space exploration to be a waste of money' otherwise its just word vomit, I know your trying to keep the word count up but word vomit is worse.
First reason relates to a helio-centric solar system.
I think your essay is alright but a little vague and general. You should try expanding on it and adding in some interesting facts to prove you have more intelligence about the topic and that you genuinely believe humans should further their space travel.
Hope this helps.
Perhaps add in information about searching for life on other planets (aka exoplanets). There was an article out recently about finding the Goldilock's planet which was an exoplanet found with suitable environment for living. Astronomers then drew conclusions that out of the billions galaxies out there there has to be at least 5 billion habitable planets.
Improving space technology and travel will allow us to eventually visit said planets and if necessary allow earthlings to move there if necessary. Granted the earth and our sun have another so billion years left of life, our sun is still young in comparison to some other suns. Space travel will allow humans to visit these far galaxies where it is harder for us to see with a telescope. Telescopes only pick up light and reflected like which is why is makes it so hard to find exoplanets that are habitable.
Space travel will also allow us to see black holes (we currently do experiments on Earth, we create small black hole (about a millimeter) and test our theories on them) and see how a larger black hole actually functions albeit from a safe distance.
Perhaps we could also use space travel to visit Pluto and clarify its orbiting patterns. From observation we know Pluto and Charon rotate around one another and just large comets within the Kupier belt.
As for corrections to make: "Favourable" is not a word its "Favorable". The study of outer space is more commonly called Astronomy.
The sentence with saying 'an act of wasting money' sounds awkward and silly. Try: 'consider space exploration to be a waste of money' otherwise its just word vomit, I know your trying to keep the word count up but word vomit is worse.
First reason relates to a helio-centric solar system.
I think your essay is alright but a little vague and general. You should try expanding on it and adding in some interesting facts to prove you have more intelligence about the topic and that you genuinely believe humans should further their space travel.
Hope this helps.
