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Posts by odinaryguy
Joined: Nov 11, 2010
Last Post: Nov 12, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: Nepal

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odinaryguy   
Nov 12, 2010
Undergraduate / "10 years kid will still be there" - 10 to 30 (a personal essay) [2]

second para
*My father wanted to know if I had kept something in my pocket for my future. But I wasn't mature enough to think about the future then.

*... I realized that there was already something more important in my pockets besides just chocolates and playing cards..

third para
*I can't remember since when I got interested in this mysterious universe..
*Maybe, it was a cartoon show I was very fond of..
*It might sound comical, but I made up my career goal through a animated serial called Jimmy Neutron...
*It was based on a kid... (dont use the same word repeatedly)

last para
* At 10, 20 years down the road I saw myself as a great astronomer and 10 years down the lane from now my dream continues to be the same. The way and the destiny is the same but this voyager has become more mature and experienced....this is confusing.what do yu mean? couldnt yu write in simple words.dont try to use catchy phrases to impress the reader if u dont know how to use it properly.it will only ruin the flow..

fourth para STARTS with a really clumsy sentence..ull have a great essay if u revise some many sentences..i recommend u consult with sumnima for that

good going sambid :)
odinaryguy   
Nov 11, 2010
Undergraduate / Gettysburg College Supplement : What difference did i make in my school or community? [2]

The Deadline is Really close and I need help with this essay. I'm not so good at writing so I would want any kind of help. Please!! Any Suggestions and corrections are very much welcomed!

A whole day of long tiresome ride and we still had not reached there yet. I with my friends were on our way to a school in a rural part of the country. It had suggested the idea that we donate some computers and establish a library in some rural region in our country through the joint venture of two of the clubs in our school. It was a difficult task but with the help of the members from both the club working it could be carried out effectively. And there i was, on a dusty bumpy road cursing myself for coming up with the idea. Who knew it would take the breath out of ones life to even reach the god forsaken place.

And immediately i remembered why i was there in the first place. I wanted to be a part of a small venture in leading the nation out of its poverty and illiteracy. In many villages as this one people are deprived of proper education because of lack of resources. I wanted to be one among the few who help these people get what they need. And gradually the irritation subsided and i was looking forward to seeing the school where the official event would take place.

When we finally reached there, i was super-relieved to breath fresh air. The day after tomorrow when the program was made official, students were present in their shaggy uniforms. All of them had finished their early morning chores of feeding the cattle, or milking the cow, or cleaning the stable, etc. before coming to the program. The computers and books were handed over to the headmaster. Excited curious faces were eying at the computers that were now going to be used by them.

I was profoundly satisfied from within. It was a joy like no other. I could never forget the look on the faces of those children. The principal hugged each one of us and expressed his gratitude when we left for home the next day. I realized the satisfaction one gains from helping others cannot be matched by anything. I felt important, and i learned that even I, no matter how small it may be, cud make a difference in the country. I felt highly privileged to have been able to get a proper education. I took it my duty as a privileged individual to help all such unlucky citizens in any way possible.
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