Writing Feedback / IELTS: The Internet has transformed lives and economies but it turning the world ... [9]

Dear all. I appreciate it if you could correct for me. Thanks

My topic is

The Internet has transformed lives and economies but it turning the world into a global village. Soon everybody will think and behave in the same way.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?.

My essay

It is no doubt that the Internet is increasingly one of the irreplaceable communication means. People keep in touch each other through the way the Internet offering. It brings people closer by using the Internet lines. A cooperation arranging a meeting over the Net where its staff can debate the policy of the company. People argue that the Internet has adjusted the way people interact via the same model. I pretty agree with this statement.

To begin with, most people especially children, relax and attend leisure activities by using the Internet. They mainly stay at home and watch movies which are being downloaded from entertainment websites. They prefer to register and become a membership of a virtual social network such as facebook or blogs where they can discuss specific aspects of daily life. Even though, they makes friends and live as if they are living in the real life. In addition to this, foreign students usually keep in touch with their relatives through webcam, a service provided by the Internet.

In goes without saying that the invention of the world wide web has brought a huge impact on the economy operation of the world. In the past, it took ages for a company to communicate or send a contract to the customers oversea. Today, we send or receive an e-mail in seconds. The international companies manage their operation economically due to the advantages of the Internet. They can hold a meeting where staff members of branches all over the world discuss a business strategy or present a financial report to the general director who is far away from them.

In conclusion, the Internet plays an important role in the last century.We appreciate it. It has more or less changed our lifestyle. How to take advantage of it and promote it in order to make the world more prosperous is the question we may concern.