ahhbeee
Nov 22, 2010
Undergraduate / Essay about: neuroscience, what makes you stand out? (UB Prompt) [2]
Great essay!
Except:
"One day, as I reached in front of the library, a group of slightly older boys (about 3 maybe) walked up to me and jumped me for no given reason."
I suggest you omit "(about 3 maybe)" A "group" of slightly older boys is enough to illustrate a picture. Also, replace "jumped" to "attacked"
Good luck! :)
Great essay!
Except:
"One day, as I reached in front of the library, a group of slightly older boys (about 3 maybe) walked up to me and jumped me for no given reason."
I suggest you omit "(about 3 maybe)" A "group" of slightly older boys is enough to illustrate a picture. Also, replace "jumped" to "attacked"
Good luck! :)