Posts by tuanphong892009

tuanphong892009

Nov 25, 2010

Writing Feedback / What is the most important animal in your country (cow in India)? [5]

The animal is most important/animals are very important which plays/PLAY crucial role in the country's economy. In India ...
(your introduction is not fairly good. no connection between sentences)

tuanphong892009

Nov 25, 2010

Writing Feedback / An important skill for a person in the world today (using a computer)? [4]

the subject is What is a very important skill a person should learn in order to be successful in the world today? Choose one skill and use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

Nowadays we are living in a technological world,(no comma here) which is opened to be developed. In my opinion(comma) the most important gadget/SKILL in recent days is computer LITERACY.Thus(COMMA) the most significant skill for a person is using professionally and deeply computer. Computer usage/LITERACY is like an obligation for several people.

First of all, several people work with computers, not only computer engineers but also bankers and secretaries. You can make too/SO much things in the computer easier than classic methods. For example, a banker pratically manage his/her customer' accounts on the computer screen. A secretary could write down weekly reports and send via e-mail to her/his boss.

Secondly, people can provide their needs from computer because of/THANKS TO the internet, which brings the whole world to your door. For instance, people could easily do/GO online shopping while they are sitting among/IN FRONT OF the computer. Thus, a computer makes spare time to/TO DO other things suc/SUCH as/: enjoying, making/PLAYING sports, getting interested in what they want, in order to waste their value time to shopping from grocers, butchers/THIS SEN MAKES NO SENSE.

Finally, as a social meaning computer gives to/ the person an amazing area/computer benefits people so much. We can send visual present to our friends to celebrate their birthdays. Moreover, we can chat with people all over the world. And/as a vivid illustration, one of my friend married with a girl, who met from a social network.. Another social network, called as Facebook/called facebook, is being used by millions of people all around the world. These examples reflects/reflect the importance of computer usage.

In the sum up/to sum up,i strongly belive/believe that learning how to/learning to use use computer is the most essential proficiency in our current life.

tuanphong892009

Nov 25, 2010

Writing Feedback / People are starving, but money is spent on pets [4]

Too much attention is paid to and so much money is spent on keeping pets, while people throughout the world are starving.
-discuss the argument for and against keeping pets
-to what extent do you agree?
Key
Pets have been existing in human life for centuries. With the enhancement of people's cultural standard, people nowadays tend to keep pets for relaxing or other purposes. However, it emerges a question that should people spend their concentration and money on keeping pets of share them with those who are living in poverty all over the world? These points of view will be discussed in two following paragraphs

It is undeniable that keeping pets will benefit people very much. When it comes to some kinds of disease, pets like dog can be very valuable to some people who are suffering from deaf or mental disorder diseases. As a vivid illustration, dog can play a role as guider of disable people: alarming deaf people in some emergency situation. In addition, keeping pets is a mean of entertainment. In many Western countries, some people consider their pets as their sons or daughters. They find it very difficult to live without them.

On the other hand, many argue that rich people who afford to keep pets should share their money and concentration with poor ones. While many people can rest on their laurels or even live in a lap of luxury, other people are struggling with poverty. They even do not have enough food or pure water. Therefore, is it fair that many people are facing to the death while such animals called pets can still live, even in a very comfortable way?

All things considered, people have the right to raise pets. However, they should balance between their attention paid to pets and to starving people. In my opinion, it is worth remembering that people are always more precious than any creatures. So, people should not spend much money on raising pets