EMILY1
Nov 27, 2010
Undergraduate / "THS Olympic" - elaborate my extracurricular activities (150words or fewer) [2]
THS Olympic is our annual traditional school event, which anyone can participate in many games such as tug of war, karaoke, sports matches, etc. It is meaningful to every student since it is the school spirit day when students get together and cheer up for their grades to win. Before all these events take place, the Olympic Club, or the Olympic Committee, plays a pivotal role. We plan for every game several months beforehand and set up each game on the day.
Despite all the complicated and time-consuming works, I felt very proud that I was helping build school spirit tightly. In my freshmen year, I first saw THS Olympic and at first sight, I was captivated by high spirits of students. Such spirits went against my bias of American schools; I originally thought the students would behave as only individuals. Although there was no uniform to raise their school spirits in daily life, on the Olympic day, they dressed up as Blue Man Group (Our grade color is blue.) and supported their representatives in perfect accord. I loved their enthusiastic spirits; therefore, I enjoyed this event and also the committee.
i can't make it to 150 words.. (these are 191words- almost there!)
i have no idea what to erase
if i remove some sentences, i think the whole essay doesn' make sense so please helppp
++ and any grammar mistakes?
THS Olympic is our annual traditional school event, which anyone can participate in many games such as tug of war, karaoke, sports matches, etc. It is meaningful to every student since it is the school spirit day when students get together and cheer up for their grades to win. Before all these events take place, the Olympic Club, or the Olympic Committee, plays a pivotal role. We plan for every game several months beforehand and set up each game on the day.
Despite all the complicated and time-consuming works, I felt very proud that I was helping build school spirit tightly. In my freshmen year, I first saw THS Olympic and at first sight, I was captivated by high spirits of students. Such spirits went against my bias of American schools; I originally thought the students would behave as only individuals. Although there was no uniform to raise their school spirits in daily life, on the Olympic day, they dressed up as Blue Man Group (Our grade color is blue.) and supported their representatives in perfect accord. I loved their enthusiastic spirits; therefore, I enjoyed this event and also the committee.
i can't make it to 150 words.. (these are 191words- almost there!)
i have no idea what to erase
if i remove some sentences, i think the whole essay doesn' make sense so please helppp
++ and any grammar mistakes?
